How's everyone doing?

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
How's everyone doing?
7
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 1:24pm

I understand the Board is still having issues...perhaps it should be in therapy.

If you are able to access the Board, post in with an update...let us know how you are doing or not doing.

I'm still here...in and out, and of course there is that other board mentioned in the new message board thread...come and join in ;)

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 4:13pm
My parents live in another city in Louisiana. Their Mardi Gras celebration is more G rated. It's much more family friendly. I've never been to NOLA either.
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 11:28am

The words we all long to hear from one another...and feel ourselves "I AM HAPPY!"

That's awesome!  I've never been to Mardi Gras.  It scares me these days to be in the throng, but I'm happy you are enjoying 'being there'...'in your present', with your husband and little guy :)

It is a present, too

(((hugs)))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 9:27am

I'm with Red. I went to San Diego with my husband hand my little guy for a few days. it was the best time I have had in a long time! I had a blast! No sneaking a message off to him, just focusing on the moment and those with me. In fact, no internet at all! Now I'm enjoying Mardi Gras at my parent's place. We had a great time throwing beads from the float yesterday. 

I am happy!

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 9:30pm

That's awesome!  Glad to hearing you sounding well...and focused on what is really important...mostly you! 

Enjoy your vacation, Red.  Send us a postcard Laughing

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 4:51pm

I'm doing great. Leaving soon for what will be my first vacation since the A mess started that I will NOT spend obsessing about xAP, finding moments to sneak away and have contact with him, etc. AKA - the first vacation in YEARS that I will truly have fun, relax, be happy, and focus on the important people in my life - mostly, ME!

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 5:18pm

It can be so confusing, for sure, Kittery.  But your feelings are reinforcing what we have discussed here...that it is more often than not not JAM you are missing but the feel goods he provided.  He just tapped into your inner feel goods...could have been anyone.

Eventually you will find healthier things to tap into that will make you feel good.  

And, hopefully you are sitting with a professional who can help you delve into your core issues.  Separation and abandonment issues are usually the main culprits of why it is so hard to let go.  My S&A issues stemmed from my adoption and multiple foster homes.

And it's not like they just go away even though we've pinpointed whatever they might be, but with awareness of them and healthier coping skills, we are able to recognize how we are responding, self-correct and respond differently.  And over time, we start to respond automatically in a healthier way...no longer having to second guess ourselves constantly.

And it takes time and distance...I know I know, it'd be great if we could just wave a magic wand, but pain is growth...and we wouldn't learn our lesson if we could just make a painful experience just disappear with the wave of a wand.

Maybe you can google some S&A links and see where that takes you.  And, I hope too, that you are reading on the baggage reclaim site.  I'm sure there's a discussion or two on difficulty letting go and why.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2001
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 3:12pm

I am very confused.  I realized yesterday I am not in love with xap, yet I am still struggling with lettinggo.