Humble Request

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Humble Request
46
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 3:04am

I slept all day & am up late doing my Self-Healing Homework and ran across a STICKLER for me. Im trying to change my faulty beliefs but I happened upon one...that I (sadly) am having a REALLY TOUGH TIME...refuting.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 4:10am

Hi Michelle> I've felt this way for so long. No matter beautiful personality, fun one is there seems to be an emptiness. We all put our best foot forward and just hope people see we are worth the time and can offer them love.

I've be regected almost my whole life... was unwanted by dad... was never enough for most people.

I've learned over the past couple months that the only love I will ever get that is pure gentle and patient is from God. He called me HIS OWN daughter. Loves me when I mess up, but fills me with joy that I can be loveable regardless. I have that secure in my heart now that I have a Father, someone that will always rope me back in and make sure I'm safe. I'm still a work in progress, but am healing

Belle

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 4:18am

awwww Thanks, (((((Belle))))

You're right about GOD! He LOVES US UNCONDITIONALLY, Created us, is there for us without fail.

Ive been very close to God in that KNOWING sense for a LONGGGGGGGG TIME...Belle...And still...I question myself and have this HOLE.

It's just damage. Damage that I have faith can be reversed - I suppose Letting GOD fill that or praying to him to reverse that damage is ONE BIG STRONG STEP in the right direction. :)

Thank you Love,

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 7:47am

It can be reversed. It can. I have struggled with the same thing, and to get what I thought I needed. I often sexualized myself to feel what I thought was love. I always felt if I only did this more or better, love would come a knockin. Not that way. It really does come from peace within.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 8:44am

Luvin,

Beautful words!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 10:21am

your welcome....anytime, just let me know and I will do my best.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 11:38am

Woman!

Man, I wish you were around like this alot. (that's a selfish request) :)

First Merry Christmas to you & your LOVELY bambinos/as

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 12:24pm

Hi Michelle.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 12:37pm

M,

I don't know if my opinion is any good to you or not. I may be a little lost in what you are looking for.

I feel that A's and M's sometimes, are a lot a like. You invest and commit too much of yourself in them, and then when you wake up and realize that the OP is just another human being and not the God-like person who you thought they were, you are disillusioned with yourself because you are disappointed and feel betrayed. Both can lead to depression or certainly the questioning of your own abilities to make good choices.

I think we are all missing something in our lives, that is why we are constantly searching for that something, even if we don't know what it is. Sometimes T will help, and sometimes I am afraid, it doesn't.

I have moved on from searching for what's wrong in my life.

You are to be congratulated on your self work.

As a man, I can tell you that

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 2:41pm

Michelle!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 9:50pm
Michelle, The A was self-defeating from the very beginning. It was only bound to reinforce all our negative feelings about ourselves. If we carry around feelings of unlovableness or unworthiness I think our subconcious allows us to make choices that will re-inforce those beliefs. That is why it is so important, nay IMPERITIVE, that we genuinely love ouselves and find ourselves worthy in order to make healthier life choices. We are a work in progress so the changes we are working on within ourselves are not going to happen over night. I love how so many of us have recognized our issues and are commited to bettering ourselves. I, for one, am ecstatic about the possibilities that lie ahead. Cheers to a healthier and happier 2011.
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

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