I am a disaster :(
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I am a disaster :(
| Sun, 08-08-2010 - 4:51am |
oh ladies I am a disaster!! I a disgusted and ashamed at myself for falling right back into a fully fledged EA with former XAP. I thought i had it all under control a few months ago and stayed NC for the last few months. Until last week we started chatting innocently again in work, which as I should have known led on to us telling each other how much we want each other , think about each other bla bla bla.

Hi
Sounds like you are really going on the addiction of all the attention right now.
gal,
desiring attention and physical intimacy is not wrong. when we marry, we make an agreement to care for our spouse as our selves. their needs become our needs. you have gone to MC with your H and he is still unwilling to meet your needs in this regard?
i had a similar situation in my marriage and after engaging in the self-destruction of an A, i went to my husband and laid it on the line. i told him i was no longer willing to live without companionship and intimacy and if he was unable or unwilling to provide it to me, i wanted out. he has taken me seriously, and it has been like starting over, building a new relationship.
there is nothing wrong with you for wanting and needing the things that you do, gal. what is wrong is how you are going about getting your needs met. if nothing changes in your marriage, you are vulnerable to repeating the affair madness over and over. if your husband is not interested in meeting your needs or saving his marriage, do you want to stay married? whether he chooses to take MC seriously or not, at the very least, a good therapist would be able to help you sort things out.
be careful, gal. you've been through alot and have suffered much. don't let your hard-won gains slip away.
lillie
hi thanks so much for your replies :)
I have had such a depressing and miserable few days. As i expected XAP came back into work on monday giving me the cold shoulder after spending all last week telling me how much he wanted me. I suspect he got an attack of the guilts over the weekend or panicked that he might have led me on too much, considering i poured out my heart to him last week.
I told him yesterday that i cannot stand this situation any longer and that it makes me absolutly miserable. I said there is no way we can