I AM DONE I HOPE

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
I AM DONE I HOPE
1
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:05pm
Well today I have had it !! I made apoor choice and had sex with OM at my house. I dont know why we di it. I was way too nervous and laughed. He got mad. When it waws over I got up and said this was wrong. When he left he said see you and I closed the door before he said later. When H got home my guilt and nerves were crazy. I can't keep doing this. OM sucks in bed. H is better. I am done. I am telling him tomorrow at work. I know I am losing a friend but I can't go on with this deciet any longer. I am hurting alot of people including myself !!

PS I was doing really well until today. I talked to him on phone but when he asked to meet up I always said I could not. H and I were fighting all week and thats probably why I let him come over. Wish me luck in doing this. It is attempt # 1 million. I look at him and cant get the words end out of my mouth ANY SUGGESTIONS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: shopwme
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 9:34am
Hey shop! My suggestion: remember how you felt yesterday and hang on to it! Remember that you are making a DECISION here and try to make your actions accord with this decision. In other words, don't act impulsively on your random thoughts; i.e. I miss him today so I'll talk to him, I'm angry at H so I'll se him. Try to act in accordance with the decision you apparently made yesterday - this situation isn't good for me and I'm not going to do it again!!!!

Its hard to live with the deceit, I know. That was a huge part of why I ended my A and trust me, if feels better when your life can be an open book. I no longer worry about where I was at any given time of day, I don't do anything that I couldn't share with my children, I don't have to worry about who saw me when. I can hold my head up and know that today I am a woman of dignity and I'm doing the right things.

This is not always easy, but this is an incredibly supportive community. Dump it all out on this board! When you miss him, post about it here first, before you act on your thoughts and call him. We'll be your friends and talk you out of it!!!! You can do this and it sounds like you're ready to. Hang in there and let us help you! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10