Sunrise what another excellant valentines gift, giving yourself the gift of your love and taking the journey of healing. I am very excited that you were excited to share with the board your determination and strength in going no contact :)
Hello, Sunrise!!! So happy you have decided to join endings! I am only starting Week 3 of NC so, I am new, but just want to reiterate what Angie posted regarding NC. It is the only way to truly forget and heal. NC is a GIFT.
I am also a woman of faith and was drawing farther and farther from my Heavenly Father - it was awful the double life I was leading and the justifications I made to myself to engage in my A.
I found this board when I was drowning, on my first day after our "breakup" and xAP's return to his exGF, so this loving community saved my sanity. And, I was here ALL day the first day and check in several tmes per day now.
Congratulations on going NC! It is the only way to truly end it. It won't be easy but you sound determined. I am 18 days NC and am feeling good. I sent "the" final email on Thursday January 27th. I said alot and made it clear it was over. She responded back that her marraige was better also and she was ok with it. I sent the email because I WANTED CLOSURE. Many at EAS suggested not to send email but to just walk. I wanted to end it as clearly as possible. And I didnt want to have to wonder what she was doing. I don't.
You mentione some people are "ok with it. Im assuming your xap was ok with A. Mine was same. Im not ok with it. For me. I asked my xap once if she ever felt guilt re our A. She's married also. She said she never felt guilty. If found it odd. Guess she has not an ounce of love for her H. I felt guilt every minute.I wish you well and stay strong.
Well gee, I am so used to being firm in my replies to you that I've been finger tied since I read this post. ;-) Now that it has sunk in, I can say, "Excellent news."
Now that your H knows about your A, and now that you are going to MC and IC, means NOW is the time to block and walk. Close that email account and if you can't because of work, make sure XAP's emails go into the junk folder or better yet, are automatically deleted. Remove anything that will tempt you to mess this up.
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Sunrise!
I am also a woman of faith and was drawing farther and farther from my Heavenly Father - it was awful the double life I was leading and the justifications I made to myself to engage in my A.
I found this board when I was drowning, on my first day after our "breakup" and xAP's return to his exGF, so this loving community saved my sanity. And, I was here ALL day the first day and check in several tmes per day now.
(((hug)))
This is AWESOME!!!
Sunrise,
Congratulations on going NC! It is the only way to truly end it. It won't be easy but you sound determined. I am 18 days NC and am feeling good. I sent "the" final email on Thursday January 27th. I said alot and made it clear it was over. She responded back that her marraige was better also and she was ok with it. I sent the email because I WANTED CLOSURE. Many at EAS suggested not to send email but to just walk. I wanted to end it as clearly as possible. And I didnt want to have to wonder what she was doing. I don't.
You mentione some people are "ok with it. Im assuming your xap was ok with A. Mine was same. Im not ok with it. For me. I asked my xap once if she ever felt guilt re our A. She's married also. She said she never felt guilty. If found it odd. Guess she has not an ounce of love for her H. I felt guilt every minute.I wish you well and stay strong.
Sunrise,
I am so happy to hear this.
Sunshine,
Well gee, I am so used to being firm in my replies to you that I've been finger tied since I read this post. ;-) Now that it has sunk in, I can say, "Excellent news."
Now that your H knows about your A, and now that you are going to MC and IC, means NOW is the time to block and walk. Close that email account and if you can't because of work, make sure XAP's emails go into the junk folder or better yet, are automatically deleted. Remove anything that will tempt you to mess this up.
Wishing you strength and determination,
Dearest Sunrise,
A warm and compassionate hug and welcome to EAS. You have given yourself the best gift by ending
Sunrise,
When the fog lifts, you will truly appreciate just how much this A was costing you and your family.
2010 was the first Christmas that I didn't decorate or get a tree and my daughter was very disappointed.
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