I am here. I mean....really here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
I am here. I mean....really here.
16
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 11:08am

I am here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 5:13pm

Thank you all for your support and encouragement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 7:19pm

Hello Sunrise,

So very happy to see you here!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 7:42pm

Hi Sunrise, welcome and congratulations on "having the integrity to stop the madness". Yes, what you are feeling is absolutely normal. In week one I was consumed with thoughts of him; I was devastated that he could let me go so easily (even though I was the one who ended it and he never once wavered in his certainty that what were doing "felt right and therefore must be right"); I was sure it wouldn't be long before he found someone else to make him feel good; and I certainly didn't trust my feelings.

But guess what?? After the awful pain of those first few weeks it gets better! I'm only day 22 of NC today, and already I can go several hours without thinking about him and when I do I'm kind of pissed off that he's made his way back into my head space; rather than seeing his silence as an affront I'm grateful that he has respected my request for NC; I really couldn't care less who he chooses to have an A with next (although a secret, mean part of me kind of hopes it ends badly!); and I am feeling stronger and more confident than I have in years.

It's great to hear that you're in MC. My H also knows that I was in an A, and we are working hard to rebuild our marriage. For

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 8:11pm

The wonderful, generous, compassionate

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2011
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 8:26pm
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!! BE STRONG!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 8:38pm
Hello sunshine

I'm so pleased you finally made this decision. You will see in my post that while I have been out of the madness for some time and total NC for nearly 3 mths - I had a crashing few days. He contacted me, I didn't respond but I spent several days obsessed with " how could he's" and ended up snooping on him in a dating site. I acted pathetically and I'm heartily ashamed.

But through that setback I can see that although out, I am still caught up in the addiction, drama and escapism of the A. I have put in tough yards but not the right yards. I see that I need thehelp of an IC and my official recount of NC starts today.

Something you said really got me too. I had this realization on Valentines Day!!! How appropriate. This whole stinking mess was driven by my need for self-love. I get it now. Truly get it!!!!

I feel better today then I have in ages. Im with you Sunrise!!!'

Iggyxx
You are what you consistently do

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