I am pathetic....sigh
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I am pathetic....sigh
| Thu, 05-26-2011 - 8:59am |
No, I have not fallen off the NC wagon.
The problem is I can not believe how much of a struggle I am having with it.
| Thu, 05-26-2011 - 8:59am |
No, I have not fallen off the NC wagon.
The problem is I can not believe how much of a struggle I am having with it.
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But - we know the reasons why. Stay strong. I know you can do this. How I truly wish I could do NC. It is your gift to you - cherish it. I am now considering asking for a transfer at work as LC is so hard.
Keep reminding yourself why. Why dobyou think you are feeling like this? What's your trigger this week? Focus back on you - the let us know why you think you are feeling this way
((hug))
Yellow
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~
First off - be careful how you identify yourself. Calling yourself "pathetic" is not helpful or productive to the healing process.
So you're struggling. We've ALL been there, and it does get better but you have to keep re-framing your affair.
What is it that you are trying to avoid in your real life?
What is motivating you to want to break NC? Are you tired, bored, hungry, lonely? What's going on here?
If you've been crying for almost 3 days now, you're allowing yourself to linger in some fantasy world. You don't throw away anymore than a few minutes a day to grieve the loss (of the other half of the most destructive decisions you ever made).
And then you give yourself a pep talk, look around at the life YOU GET TO MAINTAIN (while others have lost), and get on with your life.
There is no "try to stand back", there is just taking the actions you can to STEP BACK.
This "just another woman" is not worth the struggle. You need to re-direct your attention back into your REAL LIFE.
Take inspiration from your wonderful wife, and re-engage yourself with her. It may not feel where your heart is at right now, but believe me, there is NOTHING like the grief that comes when your marital partner leaves you and you realize THEY WERE THE ONE YOU REALLY LOVED all along.
Surrender. Move on.
Are you seeking therapy BC?
((BC))
TU.
Relieved to read you have not fallen off the wagon...WHEW!
Everyone is so smart here!
Triggers that provoke emotional desires to break NC are dangerous to all of us. If only someone would come up with a sure fire way of resisting these triggers, we would all be a lot better off.
Emotional slippage must be overcome with logical thinking. If we are slipping because of emotions, we must step back and reorganize our thoughts, and straighten out our thinking. There is nothing to be gained by contact.
I have fallen off the NC wagon so many times that it is embarrassing. EVERY time, it was I who walked away hurt from breaking the NC rule.
Once burned you would think I would shy away from it. That’s just common sense.
I know what happens when we break contact. All the veterans here know what happens when you break contact and yet we get all emotional like children and want to do it all over again. We need to grow up.
What is wrong with us?
BC, you need to man up and quit that defeating thinking. It will only hurt you. It will hurt her. It will hurt everyone that you love. It will hurt everyone around you.
Be responsible; commit yourself to never getting involved again. Start positive thinking about you and your family. Find a diversion that works for you.
Get busy :smileyhappy:
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Please stay strong BC. Remember, you're not missing xAP, you're missing the highs from the attention. The desire to fish is normal and
thank you all for your supportive words.
Never again will you lie, cheat & manipulate your loved once ...
Never again will you take advantage of other people ...
Never again will you feel so entitled to risk the health & well-being of those who love & depend on you most ...
You get the picture.
TU.
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