I can't believe this!!!-----long!
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I can't believe this!!!-----long!
| Mon, 11-29-2004 - 9:40pm |
Well it's Monday night and not a single word, not a peep from MM. I just don't understand what happened over the past 4 days. I can't believe he was ready to pack up and leave on thanksgiving morning, called me that morning when his W left and told me he would be with me THAT DAY!!! What could've happened over there to change his mind so quickly, when he was so intent on going through with it? I'm so hurt right now, not so much that he obviously chose to stay home, but more that he didn't have enough respect for me to at least let me in on what had happened. And this I find strange. MM was talking to my sister a lot when he and I broke up last time, so I'm sure her number was also on that cell phone bill. Well my sister called me today from work and said that MM's W just called her and hung up on her when she answered. (they have caller id there.)I'm sure she was calling to check up on who's number that was, and quite certain she was ticked to realize it was her. Well my sister then decided to call MM to let him know what happened (unbeknownst to me) but he didn't answer his phone. She blocked the call, so now I bet he thinks it was me trying to call him, and I SOOOO don't want him to think that. I will NOT call him!!!!I told my sister not to call him anymore! So just humor me tonight, since I've been crying all night, and tell me that everything is NOT hunky dory between them so soon. Isn't that obvious since she did that to my sister?? Someone please tell me what is going through his head right now. Does he still love me? Does he miss me at all? Is he struggling with this at all? I know it doesnt matter! He still didn't choose me!! I don't even know if he went to work today, I don't even know if he has his phone, or if she took it from him, I don't know if he's even alive at this point and I can't stand the unknown!! I just need to know! THis anxiety is killing me! What are the odds that I will EVER hear from him and know what happened over there? I know I have a lot of questions. I just need answers and I can't get them from him. So I turn to you guys!! I absolutely promise you 100% that I will NOT call him! I just miss him so much!!!

Pal,
Get yourself together, you have two beautiful children who are counting on you! Men are a dime a dozen!! Your kids are forever. He's probably trying to save his ass!! Let it go and move on - go to counseling if you're not. Please try to get some understanding into why you are getting yourself into these dead-end relationships.
Sorry if I sound harsh - but you're better than this!!!
Pal
"everything is NOT hunky dory between them so soon." NO WAY, they will not be hunky dory for a long time if ever.
His problem is not in his head its in his guts or rather a lack of them, YOU CAN DO BETTER THEN THIS WEENY.
Pal this guy is not worth the hell your going through and if you did get him could you ever really respect him one little bit.
You need to be worrying about you this has got to be takeing a lot out of you.
(((HUGS)))
FREE
This message is to icuiousone.
I've been reading a ton of your replies tonight and I'm just going to say - you are NOT being very open or nice. I'm not saying be a yes person - but you make sweeping statements that may or may not apply. YOU need to get yourself together and realize there are real people on the other end of these posts.
I am not going to debate you so reply to me or not I'm not responding to you. I couldn't let you keep this up with everyone - just relax a little and think about all the options before you generalize every person's situation the same way on the and other ivillage boards.
Hey Pal. Been thinking about you off and on all day.
Listen. I don't think you should stand bye - you should try to contact him. He OWES you some explanation. IF I were you - and I don't know you so I can't say how you are but I'm pretty assertive ... I would call and if he didn't answer I'd leave a message something like this (then I'd email it to every account you know of his and leave it on his work voice mail too that way you can presume he'll get at least one version)....
"the last I heard from you, you were leaving your w and coming over. you cannot tell someone that and that you love them, then blow them off. I understand or can understand if you backed down and are going to stay with your wife. I don't want a man that cries wolf every few months - I deserve more and better. And while I love you and value what we had, this is no way to treat me. I will not stand for it. You will contact me and talk to me, remember I'm supposed to be your great love. I will not scream at you but I deserve to hear what happened in your own words. We both know you'll contact me again eventually, so why not just do it now. I will continue to hound you until you give me the closure I need and damn well deserve and then I never want to hear from you again. You don't deserve someone as loving as me, you can stay in that miserable marriage for all I care. But again, you will talk to me and end things properly".
I swear on all that is true Pal - I would exactly do that. Why? Is it a waste of energy - some would say yes. But you and I both know you'll continue to wonder and think and feel sick/anxious for a long time to come. We know the answer is he's a big puss and she won't let him contact you ... he should have to suffer his choices in life and tell you instead of letting you assume. I know you will not heal as fast as if you knew for sure from his mouth.
I wish you luck and please let me know what you are thinking!
And this is to you xgabbyx - you're right, I'm not going to debate you - honey I'm probably old enough to be your mama - don't know if you have kids - I kind of doubt it. You're probably I'd say between 24 and 30. If the cl's or cm's deem I'm violating the TOS - they'll yank me. Believe me, I know these are real people - I was one of them years ago - I wish someone would have whopped me aside the head, it would have saved me years. You seem to be the one that needs to relax.
You and anyone else are free to use the "ignore" function.
I did not infer you were violating terms. But there are times to be heavy handed with support and times to be ginger - all night you have been harsh no matter what situation.
And frankly, you are so condescending to assume I'm 'younger' because of something you interpreted in the tone of my note. You infuriate me with your sweeping generalizations. And no, I'm much older than your range. I'm sure you're simply thinking, I'm just naive or immature.
Have a nice evening.
If I can prevent one woman from going through the gnashing of teeth, the cold sweats, the wasted years. The time spent on an empty dream. I guess maybe I am harsh - it's just because I feel for these women - mainly in their 20's who feel that they have to settle for a MM who is not available to them or if they were, soon will be on to their next victim.
I'm done.....
Cl-NRE - this doesn't apply to you.