I can't deal

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
I can't deal
5
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 1:01pm
I cannot deal with this guy anymore. He's lying to his friends, and making me look like I'm the one pursuing him. Why is it again that we shouldn't tell the wife? BECAUSE that may be the only thing to do to get him away. HELP!!! I want out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 1:50pm
Are his friends your friends too? I don't understand why you would even care what this jerk is saying unless he is purposely being malicious and coniving. Is he? I'm sorry, I don't know your history with him. Do you work together? Live in the same neighborhood? What? Anyway, whatever is going on.....my advice would be NEVER tell the wife. It will backfire, sweetie. There has to be another way to get him to back off.


True

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:02pm
He lives 2 minutes away. We grew up together... meaning we went to the same high school. I dated his buddy, and he was engaged. Me and his buddy didn't work out, he pursued me. This was December. New Years eve, she caught us, and I left. I have tried everything. He keeps coming back. I changed my phone #, his buddy gave it to him. He changed his, he came back and gave it to me. I was perfectly okay to let go, and found someone else. I don't want him. He wont go away. And I'm partially to blame. I know this because I return his calls. but I didn't worry when I didn't have his number. So why does he come back . Everyone says "tell his wife". I can't. He took his phone to the altar in case I called so he'd leave. Also, He was married may 15. May 22 he called and said he made the biggest mistake of his life. He loves me, but he has to be sure. HELP!!! I don't want this anymore. I'm going crazy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:15pm
JLT - I agree with the other poster - DO NOT tell his W. It is opening up a whole other can of worms that may lead to disaster. I am really in no position to dispense advice, as I just entered NC myself, but I guess if I were to give you any advice, it would be to completely and totally cut off ALL CONTACT with this man. He is playing games with you and your emotions. He can tell you from now until eternity that you are the one he "truly" loves, that he will leave W, etc. etc. etc. But until he actually leaves, and commits himself to you fully, he is taking advantage of you and playing games.

Are you still with the other guy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: jlt242
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 10:14pm
HI JLT

You could tell him that if he bothers you again your going to get a legal restaining order to keep him from contacting you, this sort of order carries pentalties if violated.

The threat could be enough.

I suggest that you change your number again and not give it out to unreliable people, do not return calls e-mails etc NO CONTACT from you.

luck

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 1:49pm
Thank you all for your posts. I really WANT to do this no contact & I want to commit to it. And I hope I can be accountable here. No, I am not still with his buddy. But I did beging to date someone else. I thought I should explain it to him why I didn't want to contact him. But on second thought, I am just going to disappear from his life. Just completely disappear and be gone. It's sad, because I thought he had "potential" but I have to live with the fact of what he is, not what he could be. So, as of this moment in time, I commit to no contact. Someone yell at me if for some strange reason, I don't follow through. PLEASE