I can't quit crying.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I can't quit crying.......
3
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 12:25pm
Seems like I'm have a total melt down. It started last night. I've been crying all morning. I gave MM all that I had. I gave up my life as I knew it, based on his lie. Now, I have nothing. I feel like a total failure. I'm almost 40 years old. I had to move in with my mother, I can barely make ends meet.

I have loved MM, for 17 years. How could he hurt me like this. Now, he's just going on with his life. He lied to me, my mother, my daughter. Now, that he has left his W, it's like he never missed a beat. From the outside looking in, his life looks so good, and normal. While I feel like my is coming a loose at the seams.

I feel so depressed today. My daughter is in a play today, she has her first speaking part. I can hardly get out of bed. I want to just lay there and cry. I've got to get out of this mood I'm in. I don't have time to have an emotional meltdown.

Send me some positive thoughts.........

Secret

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 1:21pm
(((secret))) Big hugs to you!

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this right now. It sounds like you are in a depression right now. Is there any chance that you could go to the doctor to see about maybe some meds until you are through this? I wish there was something I could say to help ease the pain. Just know that we're here for support.
Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 1:28pm
Secret, I am going to have you in my prayers all day sweetie. I have been at the point that you are at, and if it weren't for having to take care of my children I would have stayed in bed. I lost tons of weight and I could barely function. Making dinner was a major accomplishment as was doing one load of wash.

Whenever we love another person there is always a chance that we will have our hearts broken, whether that person is married or single. Our hearts are on the chopping block. After 17 years you deserved not to be hurt...not just because of the years you stood by this man, but bcause you are a good person that shouldn't be hurt.

Nonetheless, I really don't think at 40 that this is it for you. You have alot more life to live and alot more love to give and receive!! You just need to heal. It is going to take babysteps. Maybe you should get some therapy to help you thru this horrible time.

Please take care of yourself so that you can take care of your child.

God Bless You.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 3:43pm
HI SL

As hard as this may be to believe your life is just beginning now that XMM is out of it, you can start to live life for you and yours not for that creature anymore.

Be patient with yourself it will take time.

F