I caved already - on day 1!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
I caved already - on day 1!
3
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 4:11pm
Okay, I thought I could make it through the day. Talked to my therapist earlier about how I would get through this, how I CAN get through this...

I made it until 3:45... I wasn't sure what time he was working so I took a chance and called his cell. It rang so I knew it was on, and after one ring, it went to voicemail, which means he did not take my call. I didn't leave a message. I just lost it and started sobbing hysterically. Two minutes later, he calls back, whispering, saying he is home already. He can hear I am crying, he says "what's wrong?". (WHAT? What does he mean, what is wrong? He is breaking my heart, that's what's wrong!) I said "I can't do this, I just can't do this". He said "I will talk to you tomorrow, I can't talk now". And that was it, I hung up. Why would I put myself through this? He asked me what was wrong like he just had no clue why I would be crying. Did his day go smoothly like nothing had happened? Did he not think of me at ALL today, wonder what I was doing, miss me? How can he be so cold? How can I be such an idiot to call him!?

If I couldn't get past today, how am I going to survive this?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:22pm
I am sorry...

The first 3 weeks after my A ended, I thought of him CONSTANTLY. Wondering if he missed me, if he would call, etc. I eventually caved and called. It actually helped me, though I am sorry I did it, because it verified that he wasn't coming back. We argued, and both said unkind things. I am sorry in a way that that will be the tone of our last contact, but not, in a way...the manner in which he left, and the way he treated me, he deserved no better.

I guess all I'm saying is, that if you intend to end it, it really doesnt matter whether he misses you or not...or how hard it is for him to get over you...because you're not with him any more. I suspect my exMM misses me some, but why should I care? We have no future together. You have to focus on YOUR life, making it whatever it is that you want it to be.

I won't kid you, its still not easy after 5 weeks. I expect it will be some months before I go even an hour without even a passing thought of him. But I've made it through the worst of it, I am sure...and so can you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:52pm
(((Nyc)))

Unfortunately, dallas is right. Calling/contacting OM is just prolonging the agony. It will just make it that much harder to end the A later. Each e-mail, every phone call, even text messages, just keep OM in your life.

The only way that I could do it was to go *COMPLETE* NC. This week, I did have contact with OM, and here I am, back again because I need support.

Try to take one day at a time, and reward yourself each day that you have NC. Come here, read the posts, and post if you feel like it. We are here for you!

:)

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 11:15am
HI There,

Unfortunately it is difficult the first couple of weeks. It is up to you to be strong about the situation. I am going on day 16. It has been tough, I caved last week, But I realize this is a day to day ,hour to hour endurance. I think we all feel the same way.

I know you can be strong if you are determined, dont let him get the best of you. Sometimes life throws us some nasty curves, its up to us to deal with them. Try to focus on other things, keep busy (I know it is easier said than done). This board has helped me alot. Keep in touch. Pour your heart out to this board, We are here for u .

Wishing you lots of luck, Here for u if needed.....

Lady Bug