I Caved And Really Need Good Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
I Caved And Really Need Good Advice
16
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:28pm


Hello Everyone,

Without getting to involved in all the details, today I caved in and agreed to meet for lunch (he has emailed me asking this for the past few days, and yes, someone on the board suggested not to even open the emails, which I should have, I should have blocked the address, but I don't feel that I was 150% into a complete cut-off).

Basically he told me his intension is to leave his W but he knew since January that around this time there were a lot of family obligations such as his daughter's confirmation, a vacation that was planned a year ago and he didn't want to drop the bomb when so much was going on. He also said that he was waiting for my H to move out which would give him the freedom of seeing me more openly which he said would bring him to telling his W instead of waiting for her to bring it up, since they both walk on egg shells and don't really communicate.

He asked me to please be patient. "All roads lead back to you" is what he tells me all the time. I have been for the most part until now dealing with the NC and I am adament about being strong but I am finding it hard. I did NOT give him an answer and told him I would have to think about it. I feel very off balance and confused. I have come a long way and don't want to take 5 steps back. Any advice is welcome!

Thank everyone for listening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 5:23pm


shescomeundone,

I know everything I did today was the right thing to do and at first, like I said I was nervous but felt stronger than the last few days. Now, I am starting to feel the pain. My heart hurts right now and nothing at this present moment will soothe it, so I know I have to go through it in order to become stronger.

I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much and so deep.

MidnightBlue

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:29pm
well welcome to the NC torture...it sucks and I'm so sorry that I cant tell you it won't hurt because it will. But this is a gift that you are giving yourself. Maybe it is what your XMM needs to get off the fence....but yanno it isn't about him and what it will make him do or feel...NC is about YOU wanting more for yourself and wanting real love in your life. Youre doing this for you....and its going to be okay, believe me.

HUGS

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 9:47am
I'm just checking in to see how your heart feels today, Midnight. You did a brave thing yesterday and I know it hurts (oh boy, do I know it hurts) but you'll get through it even though it doesn't seem that way right now. I know what we can do to cheer you up! Wanna reminesce (God, I know that spelling is really, really wrong but I'm drawing a mental blank right now) about 80s rock music??? That helped me last week.

Aerosmith and Cheap Trick will be performing this summer near my home. Quick - what's your favorite Aerosmith song? Were they better then, or now????? Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:26pm
momesq1991,

You made me smile, thank you. Today started offbad with a lot of crying. I did something yesterday that is NOT in my nature. To make it brief, the hurting became so much for me I started to obsess to the point where I emailed him about 4-5 times. I felt like the biggest loser. All through the A I NEVER did that before. I always was patient, kind and understanding and my behavior really had me feeling low. I was more worried about him thinking I was psycho than anything else. SO, this morning I woke up still feeling lousy from that and did a lot of crying. Crying like I haven't cried in God knows how long. So much my stomach hurt.

Anyway, I picked myself up and MADE myself do my daily routine and then watched a movie I've been wanting to see, and then went out with my friend shopping. In the end, he did email me and told me that he could NEVER think ill of me, that he loves me and he is going to prove to me that we will be together. That's yet to be seen but in the meantime I am going to learn to live a full life and be happy.

"Angel" is my favorite song from Aerosmith and I like their later stuff since I am a product of the 80's. I do love "Sweet Emotion" and "Dream On" though. What about you?

MidnightBlue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 1:39pm
I like "Janie's Got a Gun" and "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."

I saw Aerosmith in concert several years ago and it was great. We had box seats that were off to the side of the stage. Steve Tyler had one of the stage hands invite one of the skimpily-dressed girls from the front row back stage. Then during the middle of a song went to the side of the stage and kissed her. Then Steve said, "Wow, what happened to the microphone there?" It was pretty amusing. He has a gorgeous wife, but I guess we know that sometimes doesn't matter. "Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be."...quick what song is that from? (As long as we're talking "oldies.")

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:08pm


startingnew,

I believe that song is "Faithfully" by Journey. I better be right :) I like those two songs as well, plus I like "Rag Doll", "What it Takes", and "Deuces are Wild".

Sounded like a an interesting concert. I haven't been to too many concerts. I've seen Kiss 2x and MeatLoaf and I think that's it. I know how sad that is, but my parents literally would not let me go anywhere. I still remind them of that to this day! :)

MidnightBlue

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