i caved,, im so stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
i caved,, im so stupid
5
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 10:05pm
today was MM bday .. i read everyones advice about not to contact him.. but i still did.. i couldnt help myself..i sent him an e mail.. and then i called an when he answered i hung up.. so here i sit... i feel like crap..crying... he logged on to "our"name we chatted under on AIM just after i called and hung up.. was he looking for me ??? i really wish now i didnt.. but i did.. so now what.. i feel like i have to start from the beginning now .. i wish i listned to every one .. i knew better.. why was i so stupid.. here i sit now crying .... what an ass...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 10:47pm

Mess

We live and we learn, take what you have learned from this mistake, take the pain and use it next time to say no to yourself when you are tempted to do what you know will only end up hurting you.

You have the power in your life to say NO even to yourself it's a decision and every painful relapse will help you take a step forward.

Tommorrow is a NEW DAY put today behind you and start fresh.

BE WELL

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 11:05pm

You're not stupid! You are human. We all make mistakes. You wanted to contact a person that you care for on their b-day. Under normal circumstances and in normal relationships, that's what we. But as you have learned, this is not a real relationship. Just make sure you don't do it again!

I feel so bad that you are hurting now. I know the pain. please don't analyze the situation and obsess. Just try to move forward. Like free said, (I'm paraphrasing here) remember the bad feelings you have to deal with the next time you are presented with the urge to contact MM.

I hope you recover soon and wish you luck with NC!

Despr8

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2004
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 8:04am
You're certainly not stupid! Forget about that e-mail, just move on, try to keep busy. You don't have to "start from the beginning" just continue to maintain NC, that's all. I know it's a cliche but I can assure you things will get better with time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 8:49am
thanks for the support.. today is a new day... and to be honest i wasnt looking for a response from MM.. i just wanted him to know he was on my mind... for whatever reason.. but thanks... live and learn.. i say that all the time to other people...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 9:14am

Stupid, no. Kind-hearted, yes.


Couldn't help yourself, no. Chose to keep a connection, yes.


Listened to everyone, no. Learned your lesson, I hope so.


What an ass, no. Mistaken decision, yes.


It's hard to let go sometimes. Even when you know you must do so for your health. BTDT.


Stand up, stop beating yourself up, what happened yesterday is past.


You have today. Step into it and make plans for the week-end.


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