I did it.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
I did it.......
3
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 9:53pm
I've been involved with a MM for 3 years. We fell in love very early on and for the last year he has been making promises that obviously he had no way or no intention of following through on. I have been reading the postings on this board for about a month, trying to figure out whether I was being unreasonable, impatient etc. Tonight I basically just said the things that I've been feeling, that he had misled me to keep me around, that he had fed me the things that I wanted to hear... etc etc. He cried, said that he loved me, but said nothing to make me think that I was wrong in my decision. I told him that after he leaves I will never see him again. He kept saying that he loved me, blah blah... I got angry.. told him that he didn't ....... that love is something that you are brave for, that you fight for..... and even in the face of losing me, he was doing none of those things. I told him that he was weak. That he was a liar. That he and I should both realize what we had learned from this experience...... him that he is a philanderer that should avoid becoming emotionally involved with his side piece and me to avoid falling in love with MM. Then I asked him to leave. He told me that he loved me again, and that he would spend the rest of his life proving that I was wrong, said he was sorry, then left. I feel nothing but relief. I expected to feel distraught, empty, etc... but I don't..... not yet at least. Thank you to all for your strength and inspiration. I'm off to finish watching the bachelorette lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 10:41pm

I am so proud of you!!!!!! HUGE hugs!!!!!!

What you just did takes an amazing amount of strength and with that strength you will have no problem getting through the next few months of NC, until you wake up one morning and he's all of a sudden gone from your memory and you have the man of your dreams lying right beside you!!!

Good luck sister!!!

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 10:56pm

Hi Kelly, good for you! We all know oh so well what a difficult thing you did. I do want to give you a little heads up though hon. The fact that you now feel ok and at peace with ending the A is a temporary feeling. When the reality sets it, it will no doubt be very difficult for you. Remember that you have lost a loved one and that is never an easy thing to have happen.

There are plenty of links on this board that will help you through the emotional whirlwind you will go through. You must grieve this (unless of course you really didn't love him which I don't think is the case). In addition, there are many women (and men) on this board who have been through the wringer and back. They also can be a source of strength and encouragement to you as they have been for me, if you only let them be.

As for his promises of spending the rest of his life proving that he loves you.....he can start by handing you his final divorce papers. I'm very sorry but I highly doubt that's what he had in mind. I wish you much strength on the journey (and it IS a journey) that you are about to embark upon.

CG

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 4:23pm
Thank you for the wise words. I know my feelings of relief are going to be balanced by my feelings of missing him, and other negative emotions. However, I really believe that the relief I feel is due to the knowledge that even though I'll have hard days, at least they are my choice, I'm the one in control, not him. We all know what its like to be at their beck and call, to make ourselves available on a whim, his that is, and to lose ourselves in the process. I agree that the only way to start proving their love is to produce the divorce papers because until then, nothing else is concrete. Words are very powerful but actions speak volumes. :-) Moving onwards and upwards......