I did it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
I did it!
23
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 8:22pm

I am 100% sure that I could not have written that discussion title while I was in my A! But, I'm not, so.... I DID IT!!! (what?) Well, I started my own business. No longer f'd up, f'd over, or distracted, I was able to focus on something productive and actually go out and get it for myself! Not me waiting for xAP or H to sweep in like a doofus on a mule and make my dreams come true - nope. I did it all by my lonesome. Today, I signed my first client!

I needed to change who I was, who I _thought_ I was, what I thought I was worthy of, what I thought I was capable of... basically every thing in order to get to this place. I NEVER would have done it with my A-having mindset, and I couldn't have done it while in the depths of my A-missing mindset. When one is acting like a jackhole, one doesn't really feel one deserves success, ya know what one means? ;)

So to all my EASers, from the enthusiastic newbies to our sage Vets, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for dragging me kicking and screaming into the light! I thank you, American Express thanks you, my kid's private school thanks you! Now, I might actually be able to pay some bills!

Danke and Yeah me!
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:40am

Super big hugs and thanks to all of you! It feels amazing to run through the line getting high-fived by so many supportive teammates!! It finally feels like I'm doing a victory lap around this A, and I'm not sure exactly why - except that I know that all of my energy and focus was previously diverted into self-destructive and all-consuming, ill-conceived pursuits and now I'm working on something that 100% healthy and empowering. It's like I'm finally acknowledging the capable and good person within, and no longer capitulating to defeat or feeling the need to validate self-loathing with bad choices.

I'm better than 'that'. I deserve so much more than to be an AP, to seek validation from him with my super-human ability to make him feel like his shiz doesn't stink. I deserve more than to be stuck whining about H's inattention dragging me down. I guess I finally got sick and tired of acting like a loser.

All of y'all here deserve to run this victory lap with me because, without you, I wouldn't be who I am today. May God bless you the way you have blessed me with your love and support.

Love,love, love-
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:08am

Hi Dee,

Don´t have much time, just wanted to chime in and say I´m very happy for you. You started a new chapter in your life and a better one, I´m sure, because you´re relying on your own strength to make things happen. I´m so proud of you! It´s threads like this that remind us that things can and will get better if we just start working on ourselves.

Yay you indeed!

Pru

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:23am

A big high five to you, Dee!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 12:12pm
Brava dear friend Brava!!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 12:54pm

Hey Dee-termined!


I cursive letter “E” sideways “v” you (E>)


Love hearing the positive steps you are taking in your life. Thanks for sharing it with us!


Much love and big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 2:18pm

SWEEEEET!

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 4:30am
Congrats Dee on your new beginnings. All the best to you! you deserve it. Now that is what I call true validation!!!! From within!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 10:28am

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 10:31am

Dee...congratulations!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 10:41am

Im so sorry I dont want you to cry.

Im so sorry for your loss cait..and yes I believe that he is saying hello.

<3