Bravo, GP!!! It's so liberating to feel that freedom. No more planning around him. You are free to live your own life and be the person you once were. You are making such progress. Just want you to know I'm proud of you!!
OMG.. THAT IS AMAZING!!!!! You DID IT!!! Must feel so good! I think that he was always that way you just changed and you are finally seeing him for what he really is. You deserve so much more and better. You are well on your way with getting just that. You are helping me with your success and I am so truly hoping that I too will one day share a similar experience :-)
It is such a great place to be in - when you can see your xAP and your behaviours more clearly ... when you realize that you can actually make different choices about how you're going to live out your life. Now, when I think about the affair, I am just plain embarrassed. I just shake my head at how I behaved, the things I said and the things I felt entitled to: from my H and my xAP. Those memories don't seem so lovely anymore because I can see all the lies & manipulation that went into creating them. I remember more fully the hurt we caused one another, and I feel shame, so much shame. So, when a memory comes to mind and the fog drifts in, it is quickly blown away by the industrial sized fan that is my new found sense of reality, dignity and insight.
You're in a good place GEP ...
((hugs))
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." — Maya Angelou
Yay G! :) I have the song "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" going through my head.
TU - you said "when I think about the affair, I am just plain embarrassed. I just shake my head at how I behaved, the things I said and the things I felt entitled to"
That is what I'm realizing now too. A lot of the things I felt were special were just plain pathetic. But I'm still fighting the addiction part. Being single and alone, it really sucks to not have the little attention I did have. Every time that sneaks in, I remind myself of the bigger picture and put up arsenal of defenses that I've built to get through this.
Way to go. That is a huge, huge step. I am over six months out of my A, and I know that I would not have handled myself as well as you. However, i can relate to what TU said about embarrassment and what you said about seeing him in a different way. Once we reflect back through the lens of reality, we can definitely see how undignified we were and we can definitely see our xap's for what they really are. I am really proud of you.
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Bravo, GP!!! It's so liberating to feel that freedom. No more planning around him. You are free to live your own life and be the person you once were. You are making such progress. Just want you to know I'm proud of you!!
CSN
Thanks CSN...It is liberating.
Thanks!
GP,
<< Or maybe it is that I have changed and see what I didn't see before.
~Iddy~
Hi GEP,
It is such a great place to be in - when you can see your xAP and your behaviours more clearly ... when you realize that you can actually make different choices about how you're going to live out your life. Now, when I think about the affair, I am just plain embarrassed. I just shake my head at how I behaved, the things I said and the things I felt entitled to: from my H and my xAP. Those memories don't seem so lovely anymore because I can see all the lies & manipulation that went into creating them. I remember more fully the hurt we caused one another, and I feel shame, so much shame. So, when a memory comes to mind and the fog drifts in, it is quickly blown away by the industrial sized fan that is my new found sense of reality, dignity and insight.
You're in a good place GEP ...
((hugs))
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Yay G! :) I have the song "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" going through my head.
TU - you said "when I think about the affair, I am just plain embarrassed. I just shake my head at how I behaved, the things I said and the things I felt entitled to"
That is what I'm realizing now too. A lot of the things I felt were special were just plain pathetic. But I'm still fighting the addiction part. Being single and alone, it really sucks to not have the little attention I did have. Every time that sneaks in, I remind myself of the bigger picture and put up arsenal of defenses that I've built to get through this.
Bodhi :)
Thanks for your support Iddy.
Hi TU
That is how I am starting to feel now...embarrassed.
Way to go. That is a huge, huge step. I am over six months out of my A, and I know that I would not have handled myself as well as you. However, i can relate to what TU said about embarrassment and what you said about seeing him in a different way. Once we reflect back through the lens of reality, we can definitely see how undignified we were and we can definitely see our xap's for what they really are. I am really proud of you.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
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