I did it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
I did it.
19
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 8:22pm

I thought I was doing well - and in all honestly, I am doing well! But I been thinking about what most of you girls have had to say about No Contact. I have always done things 'my way', and 'my way' has gotten me here. If I listened to the girls on MAS, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and heartache.

It's been 2 1/2 weeks of 'No Contact' for me. But, today, I have come to realize on Christmas that I need a new beginning. So I deleted his wife from my myspace contacts. I sent her a nice, very polite e-mail stating that we need to go our separate ways. I thanked her for her generosity and kindness, and apologized for the pain I caused her. But ultimately, I told her we cannot be friends due to the circumstances we met under. I then 'cleaned' my history on my computer so I wouldn't be tempted to spy on his or her profiles.

I then proceeded to delete ALL the text messages I saved from Aug 08' and his pictures. I also deleted her information and his 'old' information. I threw out all the things he gave me (teddy bears, saved rose, used lingerie lol etc..). And I will change my phone number tomorrow (the place is closed today).

*sigh* I apologize for not listening. I kept butting heads thinking 'my way' was going to get me threw it but 'my way' is the 'wrong way'.

99.9% of me hates him. Hate is a strong word for me and I do not use it lightly. But I have so much deep rooted anger and hatred for him. I have not shared half the pain he put me thru - you all know just what I have told you which, unfortunately, is not even half of the story. The other .1% of me is hallow, lonely, feels unlovable and I used to translate this into 'missing him' but that's not what I miss. I'm just hurtin' because I'm 'alone'. So, really its not him I'm missing.

Well, thank you for listening and being there for me even when (as a drug addict) I kept fighting the system and those that wanted the best for me. YOU guys are my friends, NOT him. HE was/is the enemy.

GOD BLESS and MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!

Hope the New Year brings much joy to us all.

Love
Lost

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: llostagain
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 7:24pm

Congratulations on your week of NC, Lost :)


His wife is getting the good stuff?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
In reply to: llostagain
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 7:59pm

Good point Clarity...'the good stuff' I'm referring to is sharing a bed, in 'her' home, having dinners with her family, doing his laundry, etc... basically not being kept a secret.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: llostagain
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 8:31pm

She's not being treated like a wife or like the women he loves...he's treating her like a dog and has been doing so for some time.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
In reply to: llostagain
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 8:54pm
YAY!!! I am so happy for you!!! You put yourself first. That is a GREAT START! So now we will get through all these crazy emotions we go through everyday. GOD knows how there are UPS AND DOWNS :( We are here for you! Again just wanted to say I admire your strength!!
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: llostagain
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 10:47pm

WOW!!!


You are amazing Lost, do you know there are people that are much further along in NC then you are that still haven’t cleaned out their drug paraphernalia. No xAP drug but they still have the crack pipe and they are smelling the residue. On a scale of 1-10, what you did is like a 20+. This is huge.


You took back your power!!!


Congrats. I’m doing the arm extended and hand rolling down gesture as I bow to my computer…this is very, very big!


Much love and big, big hugs to you,


E1


Edited to add: I'd like to encourage you to change your

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: llostagain
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 12:57am

can you change your screen name...i need to change mine...do i have to make a new account or can i just change it? please let me know if you know...sorry, i know this is the place for this, but since it was mentioned...

keep it up Lost....i am with ya, let me know if ya need me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: llostagain
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:30am

We used to be able to add different screen names to our account, but there were some trouble makers that would be kicked off IVillage only to reappear under a new name and start more trouble. :(


Anyway, you have to rejoin through another email account. Easy enough to do.


((Hugs))


PS - Just be sure to let us know that it's you. ;-)

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
In reply to: llostagain
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 12:17pm

SO HAPPY FOR YOU GIRLIE !
I´m so proud of you. You took your time, but the main thing is that you got there ! Yaaaaaayyy !!

I wish you f´tard free 2010 !!

(((hugs)))

Edwina
Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
In reply to: llostagain
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 5:55pm

Thanks Edwina! I did it girl! ;-)

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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