I did it!!! Finally went NC!
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| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:10am |
So...I just wrote back, basically saying that I wasn't mad, or anything else for that matter, and that nothing was "wrong". I went on to say that after some thought, I needed to not have contact with him to be able to concentrate on my own life. He knew of some issues that I was having with H and other issues involving my family (parents/brother) and I indicated that there were other things going on that needed my full time and attention at this time. Maybe it was kind of a cop-out not to tell him what I really think of him at this point in time, but at least it got me to this point.
I have *no idea* how he will respond, and that has me a bit concerned. I don't want to get into a huge e-mail conversation with him about my motivations/reasons for cutting off contact. The worst part is that this Saturday we are invited to a party at a mutual friend's house. I had already agreed to bring several things to the party and to help our friend's wife (she is pregnant and is having trouble getting around). OM indicated in his e-mail that he and his fiancee' were not only going, but also staying overnight.
So...there is really no way for me to avoid going to this party and seeing OM, which will be extremely awkward considering the timing of the NC and everything.
Anyway, I just wanted to come here to share the news and hopefully get some words of encouragement/support. Thanks everyone for inspiring me to make this step!
:)
Circe

Well done...good tap on your shoulder!! Now, don't give him any explanations, he doesn't deserve any and you should have maybe let him wonder for a bit...but don't worry, am sure you haven't strop hearing from him yet and if he does...don't reply at all to nothing...
REally proud of you and you are right focus on your marriage and sherish it as much as you can and mind yourself. It is going to be tough at time but you are already a winner from pain to power and that is great.
Saw my ex on Sunday with his girlfriend and I can tell you, it hurts but hey, I am minding myself...tough him!! He cheated on her with me the way he cheated on me with her and she took him back...waht does htat tell me? but at the end of day he picked her over me but I ended the relationship and I must now live for the better for ME...
take care
Shakira
Congrats, everystep in the right direction is still a step big or small, most women start with baby steps so your doing great.
E-mail converstaions require you to respond, don't or better yet block his mails so you never see them I BELIEVE THE SAME CAN BE DONE WITH TEXT MESSAGES AS WELL.
At the party DROOL on your HUSBAND, make him feel like the hotest guy in the place in front of the DORK, then leave with out saying a word to him.
Be strong
Free
Keep the focus on your marriage and yourself. And good luck for this coming weekend...just stay strong. Remember, we're all here backing you up :). Let us know how it goes. Take care....
So, at @11:00 this morning I got 2 text messages from OM, both asking me to call him when I got a chance. It was so hard, but I deleted the messages. I also deleted his number from my cell phone altogether. I am sure he will at least try to e-mail/call several more times.
I know that seeing him on Saturday will be hard, but it is something I feel I have to do. It will be extra hard because his fiancee' and H will be there, but maybe this is what I need, maybe it will help him get the message that I no longer want to have anything to do with him. The bad part is, I will have to interact with him at least a little bit, superficially of course, because his fiancee' and my H know that we are friends/acquaintences through work. It would look odd if we *didn't* talk or if we blatantly avoided each other. It will be awkward, but I will get through it.
Shakiras - It sounds like you are getting stronger too. Seeing your ex with his current GF must have been really painful. I think that it is good, however, that it happened. It is over, and you have faced the situation, and now you are stronger for it. Good for you! I admire your strength and your attitude and hope that through the end of my A I can be that strong. Thanks for sharing your experience with me :)
Free - you are right, baby steps are what got me to this point. A lot has led up to this decision, and finally I guess I had had enough. I probably let it go on way too long, but the bottom line is that I finally did it. Thank you so much for your support, and I will *definitely* do that at the party, in addition to looking drop dead gorgeous, of course - LOL. No harm in taunting him with what he can no longer have! And you are right, he *is* a DORK - I just never realized it before!!!
Patches - thank you for recognizing how big of a step this is. I still can't believe I actually did it! I know that someday you too will get to this point. Remember, take baby steps, eventually you will get there. I will definitely keep you posted about what happens this weekend! Thanks again! :)
I will still have to see him on Saturday at a party, which I am sure will be awkward, but I am hoping there will be enough other people there that I don't have to have much contact with him.
Anyway, just wanted to update and kind of get out some of the feelings that I have been having. It's 2 days and counting!!! :)
(((((but a larger part of me doesn't even want to explain. ))))
YOU don't owe him anything. NC means exactly that. He can figure it out if he uses that "OTHER" head once in a while :)
Good luck and congratulations for 2 days.....Keep ON keeping ON !! :)
True
CIRCE
You are AWESOME !! Stay strong and do not email or call back . That is what I want to do , I want to turn the tables on my STBXMM and have him hangin by the phone or computer and waiting to hear from me and not me being the one waiting. You do not owe him anything. How dare these men put us on the back burner and then play with our emotions for entertainment. Good Going Girl ! At the party don't make a big deal about seeing him. Just act like no big deal .
C21
Hang in there, and remember your to hot for that loser.
Free