i did it! thank you!
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i did it! thank you!
| Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:27am |
ok this is my first day NC...if u recall, yesterday i was a mess. today..not so much! he agreed to walk away. i dont know if i totally believe him but i am being hopeful!! my heart hurts a bit...i am aware of him being gone... but i am looking forward to my "new" old life!! i will be glued to this board for a while, i know, for support but i wanted to say thank you so much for being there for me yesterday! XOXOXO

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Just curious, how did you get him to finally understand that you meant business? Did you meet up with him, talk to him on the phone, send a carrier pigeon? ;-)
Just glad you've got a starting point now. It will be rough going for a while and you'll feel like you've lost a limb, but it will get better as each week passes. Now it is entirely up to you NOT to contact him again, and open up that can of worms that you have finally shut. This is all about you now, and learning to take responsibility for
~Iddy~
thank you!!!
Seek,
Such a brave and strong thing you did!! I am proud of you. And I really, really like that you told him that if you had to, you would tell your H about it, because it might really come down to that for you. I hope not, but you need to be prepared.
Just like the women who are wrapped up in the fog of an A, let's hope your xAP is too and that he will start to see things more clearly the longer NC takes place between you two.
The going is going to be tough at times. Everyone here will tell you that. It's so hard to read the words and believe them, but please believe it when I
Seek,
Be proud of yourself, I know that I am. You did a necessary and couragous thing. You may second guess yourself at times and when you do, come here and read and post. All of us here will help you through any speed bumps along the way.
As the fog starts to clear, you will find that you missed out on so much while immersed in your A. I realized how much of my childrens lives I missed out on. Instead of coming straight home, I would meet up with XMM just to get my fix, just like an addicted druggie. I showed up to school functions after back seat visits with XMM and I cant believe I did those things. I never want to be that person again!!! But with a clearer vision comes a clearer mind and you realize that when you know better, you do better. Right now, you know to never travel down that road again. Your heart may care for him but your mind knows what is right and you took that 1st step. Keep walking forward with strength and determination.
Always, you should do the same..hold your head up high. You too made the right choice and are headed in the right direction. Please stay off that roller coaster. Its not worth sacrificing your dignity and self respect for and you are worth more than being someones "beck and call" girl. I am thrilled to see you have found a new steadfast determination. With each setback we can remember that we never want to feel that low ever again.
GMLB
***you will find that you missed out on so much while immersed in your A. I realized how much of my childrens lives I missed out on. Instead of coming straight home, I would meet up with XMM just to get my fix, just like an addicted druggie. I showed up to school functions after back seat visits with XMM and I cant believe I did those things. I never want to be that person again!!! ***
this made me cry...thank u for that! i will read this a bunch in the coming weeks! xoxo
Thanks for the encouragement, GMLB. I have no doubt I will be successful this time. The difference being is I wasn't really ready to give it up the first time I tried. I guess I was one of the girls who just had to go back and touch the hot stove to really understand how much it burned.
After slightly more than two weeks NC, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was after a month NC the first time. I still have really bad moments, but they are fewer and further between. Of course, what is helping me keep my mind off xAP is that I've been so incredibly busy at work and with one of my volunteer organizations. I've barely had time to eat or sleep, let alone let my mind linger on xAP.
I highly, HIGHLY recommend getting involved in a healthy activity/organization to keep oneself from wallowing in the ending of their A. There are far, FAR more productive things we can do with ourselves and for others.
Yay for a happy day!! If anyone is feeling down today, please just let it wash over you and then find ONE TINY THING that you are grateful for and cull some happiness from that thought.
Sending positive vibes out into the universe today. :)
alwayst2,
thank you so much! u