I did a terrible thing
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| Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:35am |
i've been reading some members posts alot - those who sound like they've been through my situation. i'm in love with a MM and decided i was not going to sit home another saturday night. i accepted a dinner invitation from a man who i know has a crush on me and we went out last night. long story short: i had a lot to drink. he stayed the night. i feel sick with guilt. i have been crying uncrontrollably since he left. i feel like i cheated. i should have not let it happen but at the time i felt like i was being independent. the truth is i felt nothing with this man last night. no magic. now i feel like such a whore. i kept thinking that when i end my A i will be free to explore with new men. now i realize i don't want anyone else. i am so confused.
D.

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thanks kelly
i found this board during the holidays. i hated being alone then the most. i started reading your posts and you just seem so together. i appreciate the time you've taken for me. i'm glad you're doing so well with your new M.
as for me i am still with my MM. i accepted the dinner invitation though i'm still not sure why. i know he wants to get me back into bed no matter how understanding he may have seemed. he is male afterall.
i'm going to try to cool things down for a while with my MM i think. everyone keeps talking about NC but that's not what i want. he is like my best friend. i wish i could just go back to when he was anyway.
i still regret what happened saturday night. i can't stop feeling guilty about it. i am such a terrible liar. my MM will know something is bothering me and i'll end up telling him probably. wish me luck.
Debbi
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