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| Mon, 01-04-2010 - 9:04am |
OK so here I am sitting at almost 9 months NC. I returned to work this morning after a very nice vacation and there it was....a fishing attempt. I really thought I was in the clear! Damn him! It was a very selfish attempt to see if I'm still hooked I'm sure. I am definitely frazzled and curiousity is setting in but I am now thinking logical outside of the fog. I know I am not going to do anything about it but I am really PISSED.
Another part of me wonders if it is his wife contacting me, which would mean there is trouble in paradise. I have read so much about D-days that it is always in the back of my mind. Luckily, I am out of my relationship with xH so it would not rock my world but I never wanted to break up a family and that is why I ended it among many other reasons.
I am just starting to put myself out there and be open to a new healthy relationship and

Your new year is NOT tainted....you didn't do anything wrong!
NIIT,
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Give it 24 hours, feel the anger, fight the curiosity, unravel the frazzel, and this will pass.
< know I am not going to do anything about it but I am really PISSED.>>
It's okay to be pissed. Happened to me quit a bit because we still work together, BUT don't sit there and stew too long. Find something to take your mind off of it. It doesn't matter who was fishing, whether it be the W or XMM, don't let their selfish actions get under your skin. 9 months NC is huge. This is something you should be very proud of, so embrace this like the protective shield that it is.
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Not if you don't let it. You did nothing to cause the tainting. Keep on with your fresh beginning and toss this selfish fishing attempt in the garbage. Better yet, write it out on a piece of paper and then SHRED it. Be proud of the fact that that you are now in a place where things are clearer and that contacting him would be a HUGE mistake.
(((Hugs)))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~
Thanks ladies. You are both right, I did not taint anything. I just made a bad decision a long time ago that will forever haunt me BUT I am in control of what happens from here on out now.
I am so glad I have had these 9 months to see things for what they were. I have done so much reading and self help over these past 9 months that it would just be flushed down the toilet if I responded. Iddy you are right that it doesn't even matter WHO it was that contacted me. The thing is that I blocked him through our "normal" methods of communication. This time I was seeked out and bam hit like a ton of bricks.
I am already feeling less frazzled...thanks. Curiousity make take a little longer to subside. I can do this though. Luckily, I am very busy today at work since I have been on vacation, that will keep my mind off of this hopefully.
Atta, girl. You sound better already. The anger will turn into "Not on my watch, you a$$h*le! ;-)
~Iddy~
NIIA -
I just wanted to say kudos to you for not reponding to his lame fishing attempt.
Hi Not In It,
New year, new you and not tainted at all. You are showing that the new you is reacting differently.
That is a positive start to the new year! The fact that you were angry is actually a good reaction. Just like an uninvited guest crashing your twenty-ten party, you reacted appropriately.
It sounds like you are feeling better already and you came here to post and that is a good way to handle it.
As far as the curiosity, I bumped out the “Poor MM” thread for you. I’m sure you have read it as most of us have but I think it might help put the curiosity factor to rest for you.
Also I think sometimes they think that if enough time has past we might be more receptive, you know not so emotional (big eye roll).
Anyway big hugs to you for ignoring it,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Thanks for bumping that thread up. I read it and help me put things into perspective once again.
You're right. He may think I may be more receptive without all the emotions anymore. He is in for a treat....it's called the gift of silence. I hardly think of him at night anymore but I may tonight, I may even sleep good knowing that I have "put him in his place". He did it to me all the time back in the day, revenge is a biatch.
NIIA
9 months is amazing!! U have come so far, Congrats to you....u r my hero...lol.
I can relate to you being pissed even tho I am only 1 month NC...its like "who do you think you are?" U have no right to impose your presence in mine in any way shape or form.
I am just suprised they come fishing after so long?? I guess I should not be surprised. But I am so suprised that after NC for so long, they still think they can come at us....
Guess I am just a little concerned he will come fish.....NOT OBSESSING....I just assume he is not, especially since our relationship affair or not was not as long as other posters...hell, who knows. I just have a plan in case he does fish...a ignore plan...and how and what to do so that I do not get sucked back in, so that curiousity does not get the best of me etc...I am still a little fragile I guess, which being a month out I expect. But I need to be prepared and not assume I am fish free from exAP....
thoughts??
Sienna,
Don't assume they won't fish. I am almost 9 months NC and was only in the A for 8 months. Yeah. I was not prepared for the fishing attempt today. I honestly thought he respected my wishes to end things *eye roll* At