I don't know why I did this
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| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:32am |
I don't know why I did this to myself. I am so confused. Did I want to hear that? Or did I want him to hang up on me, and not talk to me. HE said he wants to see me before his wedding. He gets married on May 15 this year. I don't think it will work. I want it to work, and I don't want it to work. Because if he's in a happy marriage, I can move on with a clean slate. If he's not, the thought of him returning, could haunt me for a long time. What do I do? Even though he said he made up his mind, he didn't sound like he was happy with his decision. I don't get it anymore. I don't understand people. I told him that I want to get married, but what he has, I do not envy. I don't understand. I am so confused. If the man was happy with me, and had the opportunity to be with me, what the heck was the problem? If the roles were reversed, I'd have jumped.
Any thoughts? Please, I'm lost.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but it makes me feel sorry for his fiance. Assuming she doesn't know about your relationship with him, she's making a decision to spend her life with someone without having all of the facts about him. Doesn't seem fair to her. When my xMM and his wife were trying to make their marriage work, I asked him that question...is it fair to put her in a situation to make a decision about staying with him when she didn't know about our two-year affair. I don't know if telling a spouse about the affair is a good thing or not but that's something I would definitely want to know prior to marrying someone.
I understand exactly what you're saying. Which is the most painful...hearing that he misses you or hearing that he's happy without you. I think it's a toss up.