I dont see the END
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I dont see the END
| Tue, 12-23-2003 - 7:07pm |
been away for awhile. things have been tough. missing him so much. very hard to see him everyday at work. it just is not getting any better.
he calls my cell today, leaves a msg saying he is thinking about me, and misses me.
god, what is he doing. i wish he would make up his mind, stay at home with wife and kids, or leave. but no, he doesnt know what to do. meantime, i am dying here.
just venting. i hope everyone has a great holiday.

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I still felt I owed it to my husband and our three children to stay in that marriage also although it sounds stupid because I broke my marriage vows they still meant something and I had to try. Although i desparatly wanted to be with my boyfriend i was also scared, scared of what people would say and think of me and of what would happen if things didn't work out between boyfriend and me. I tried really hard for 18 months felt I deserved more than the marriage I had but it was finally my husband who left as he realised I loved this other man and would never get him out of my mind. I struggled so hard with my feeling and I know my boyfriend had a hard time being the other man. Sometimes it is just a case of not knowing what to do or which way to turn.
I have to jump in here. YOU can't base your life on MM. If he has chosen or chooses to stay with his famiy, that is THE END. Give yourself a gift for Christmas. Give the next 2 weeks to yourself. Spend the time thinking about what you want for yourself in the next year. HOW do YOU want to see yourself 3 months from now?
He is NOT avaliable. He is NOT single. I don't know if you are married or single. However you know his status. BE NICE to yourself. Do not date married men.
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