I don't what it to end but it has to

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2004
I don't what it to end but it has to
1
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 11:18pm

I've met the most beautiful and kind man about a year agao. When our eyes met, we both lit up and were very interested in one another. A few months went by and I would see and talk with him occasionally. Every encounter I had with him filled me with such happiness that lasted for days. I think about him all the time. We haven't slept together, but we really want to. We are both married and have kids. We don't want to mess everything up.

My husband found my phone records and started asking Q Told him he was just a friend. Didn't buy that one. My M told his wife also. Bad decision!!!!Anyway, I have run into him a couple of times. Those feelings are still there. It drives my crazy. I think about him all the time. I need some help and to get a life. Any advice out there for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 12:13am

Hi Midnight

This is exactly how my A started.. we met on the net, he found me and messaged me, and then by and by added me to his messanger. Well, we got to talking , becoming friends, got closer so started talking on the phone as well and one fine day after a lot of pushing from his side, decided to meet up.

That was the most unlucky day of my life because someone saw me with him in the car and told my husband - who I convinced that he was a friend - so,, basically if u see our stories start almost the same way.. husband finding about person before the A begins. I used to talk so much on the phone to this man that my husband got into bad moods with me, jealous moods though till date nothign had happened and we had not slept together. My husband hated the man with a vengeance and I guess every man knows how another mans mind works. I should have heeded my husbands words..but ofcourse my head was in the clouds and ...

The OM is not married and he pursued me with such determination that I went blindly into the A. My husband still thinks we are friends 2 years down the line but it turned out that the OM did not really have my feelings or needs as his top priority. He was self centred and left me drained of any self respect by the way he used to carry on during our relationship. I was totally in love with him and let him get away with things, forgave him through the worst times. To cut a long story short, I have sent him my final break up letter yesterday, a short letter telling him its over and to let me go on with my life.

So, my advice to you is, NIP IT IN THE BUD midnight.. you cannot get any happiness, your marriage will suffer for it because you will always be on cloud nine about the OM and if somoene were to find out (like ur H) it will be the beginngin of the end for you. I was lucky in that my husband never found out I was sleeping with my OM. I totally regret goign into my A now and am hoping to be strong enough at this point of time, when I am on the final break up stage.

My best wishes to you
Trish