I feel better than ever

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
I feel better than ever
2
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:05am
I want to send this e-mail to my XOM so bad, but I don't want his latest victim to suffer any reperussions for sharing info with me. I know he would suspect her right away because he knows we have talked before, when they were together, and I broke off our relationship immediately after that conversation. (I didn't care that he was dating other people; I encouraged him to do so. It was the lies that were uncovered in our conversation that shocked me and caused me to break it off with him.)

During the last few weeks, I was beginning to feel uncertain of my actions, and contemplated initiating contact with XOM again. She and I had another conversation last night where more of my questions were answered. Now, I feel much stronger and have no desire to see him or ever talk to him again. Good riddance!!

My e-mail to XOM:

The truth (the REAL TRUTH that is) will set you free, my friend. :>

I was beginning to feel uncertian of my harsh words to you (the "snake" and "master of deception" comments)in the e-mail I sent after my conversation with (girlfriend's name). Memory fades and I was beginning to wonder if I had simply jumped to conclusions or imagined some of the stuff I thought I had remembered. (I didn't keep a copy of the YIM conversation for myself)

Well, let me say that I am not uncertain of those comments anymore. My eyes have been opened, and I don't think I will ever feel the least bit of desire for you again. My heartache has been cured.

Sincerely,

(me)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:35am
My friend,

Please take my advice and do not send the email. From someone who has

experience with writing letters, calls, and writing more letters. Its just not worth it, they

simply don’t care. You commented that this man was seeing other woman when he was

with you? Well, that should say it all. Unfortunately other woman will probably fall for this

garbage but don’t get involved. I many times thought I could handle hearing things, just a

little contact, or a phone call and it ended up that it consumes you again.

Just in my opinion, don’t send the email and I wouldn’t talk to the current OW.

Let them both dig their own grave and you heal yourself or stay healed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 1:51pm
I don't plan to send the e-mail. It just felt good putting my thoughts into writing. Since I didn't have anywhere to send it, I thought I would post it here.

I told him I didn't care if he saw other people because he complained about being lonely. I am M and couldn't really spend much physical time with him, mostly just e-mails and phone conversations. I secretly kind of hoped he would fall in love with someone else that was available so I could break things off. I was feeling guilty about A, but also sorry for him (stupid I know).

What set me off was when she contacted me to ask a question. (She believed OM and I were just friends) I answered her question discretely but she volunteered huge amounts of info about their relationship, most notably talk of marriage and kids within the first month of dating! Everything she said sounded exactly like the same garbage he had been feeding me. I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell her any of this but blasted him about toying with her emotions. This was the first man this poor girl has ever dated. He claimed she was just naive and took things out of proportion. He may have said all those things but he didn't mean any of it. I responded, well I suppose you didn't mean any of it with me then either. He tried to dispute it, but my mind was already made up to leave the picture. I told him that he either needed to get serious about her or be straight with her about his true feelings.

Apparently he has since then told her that he just wants to be friends right now. She is crushed and angry and contacted me again. I got a little more info out of her about their relationship, and it just confirmed to me what a lying dirt bag he really is.

I don't feel bad for myself because I had made it clear to him that I would never leave my M. I just enjoyed being flattered by him and the excitement of our A. However, watching him manipulate this young girl just made me sick. (OM and I are same age, she is 10 yrs younger)

Yes, I'm a fool, and I know it. At least I don't feel like I'm losing out on something anymore. Instead, I feel like I'm shedding a leach of my emotions and energy.