I had to check to see if I had written that post ... it is exactly how i am feeling. I have been in bed all day. same clothes as yesterday. i have slept off and on and generally avoided all else. i am a PhD student and i have a huge paper due Friday, and i haven't the strength to get up and start working. I will have to soon. My kids will arrive home and I will be required to perform for them. That their mom is well and present. I am anything but. He has called me twice today frantic to connect. I haven't answered. He has emailed and I haven't responded. I want to. and I don't want to. I dunno. All this to say, it brings me comfort, however wrong, to know that I am not alone. I find glimmers of hope from the other members. I want to believe it is possible ...
I started my previous post and then blasted out and came home and finished it up...should have check to see if someone had responded with similar advice...big DUH.
It's me again. I was thinking the same thing Clarity wrote, only it was time to head home from work and couldn't respond. If you are taking something that has been laying around for a year, did you check the expiration date on it? I know that my meds need to be renewed yearly, so be sure you are not popping something that could harm you more than help you. Just concerned, is all.
hi mickey, i hope you are feeling better :) in someway your remind me of my self during the time my x-ap ended our A. at the time i thought i would never get over him. well with time i did and with time i started examining m life and what ever was making miserable. like you i have a great husband but i still do not feel he is the man for me or maybe he is however something is missing in our marriage which is good communication. we have a lot fo tension in our marriage i m not going to write all the details now this post is for you. anyhow, i was on antidepressant after xap ended it and it really did not help much. i felt the need to change things around me so i can start feeling like a normal person again. i m still working on my self, marriage and husband so i can find balance in life. lately i have stopped taking the antidepressant, i am not depressed i am disappointed the way my life turned out to be. so now i am working on the things that are disappointing in my marriage or in life in general. i do not think you are depressed, you might be disappointed the way your xap turned out to be or the way your A ended. try to think about the positive outcomes you got from ending your A like gaining your dignity back, like no more lies no more putting up with his bs or his lies .
i do not know if i made sense to you i m not a good writer in general. however, i been following your posts and i felt the need to share something from my own experience. hugs
I saw your post last night but wasn't alone in the house and couldn't respond. I've been struggling a lot lately too for some reason. I was doing great and all of a sudden it just hit me...sadness all the way through my bones and in every fiber of my being. It sucks!
I started trying to remember how I got past this sadness before (as I've said in other posts, I got thru this once and then stupidly, stupidly let him back in). I remember this all encompassing sadness about three weeks into NC...then by the time he emailed me 4 weeks later, I was better. Not even thinking about him anymore. It was great!! That's why I thought I could handle responding to his fishing attempt...yeah, as soon as I heard his voice, it was ALL over AGAIN...I think I'm kicking myself more for that decision than for getting into it in the first place because by then I should have known better!
ANYWAY, like I said, I'm trying to remember everything I did then to feel better and I've been doing all of it except for the one thing I forgot until just the other day. I had started taking an herbal anti-depressant. I started taking it again now and I think it might be helping. It's called 5-HTP. If you don't want to go the actual medication route, it might be worth
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Dear Mickey,
I had to check to see if I had written that post ... it is exactly how i am feeling. I have been in bed all day. same clothes as yesterday. i have slept off and on and generally avoided all else. i am a PhD student and i have a huge paper due Friday, and i haven't the strength to get up and start working. I will have to soon. My kids will arrive home and I will be required to perform for them. That their mom is well and present. I am anything but. He has called me twice today frantic to connect. I haven't answered. He has emailed and I haven't responded. I want to. and I don't want to. I dunno. All this to say, it brings me comfort, however wrong, to know that I am not alone. I find glimmers of hope from the other members. I want to believe it is possible ...
from here to there ... we will be better.
(((Mickey)))
I know that there isn't anything I can say to you right now that will make you feel
~Iddy~
Thanks Iddy,
I started taking an anti-depressant this morning that I was prescribed about a year ago.
((((Mickey))))
I'm sorry this is such a struggle for you.
I started my previous post and then blasted out and came home and finished it up...should have check to see if someone had responded with similar advice...big DUH.
I would think that
It's me again. I was thinking the same thing Clarity wrote, only it was time to head home from work and couldn't respond. If you are taking something that has been laying around for a year, did you check the expiration date on it? I know that my meds need to be renewed yearly, so be sure you are not popping something that could harm you more than help you. Just concerned, is all.
More hugs,
~Iddy~
Hi Iddy and With,
Thank you for your concern.
hi mickey,
i hope you are feeling better :) in someway your remind me of my self during the time my x-ap ended our A. at the time i thought i would never get over him. well with time i did and with time i started examining m life and what ever was making miserable. like you i have a great husband but i still do not feel he is the man for me or maybe he is however something is missing in our marriage which is good communication. we have a lot fo tension in our marriage i m not going to write all the details now this post is for you. anyhow, i was on antidepressant after xap ended it and it really did not help much. i felt the need to change things around me so i can start feeling like a normal person again. i m still working on my self, marriage and husband so i can find balance in life. lately i have stopped taking the antidepressant, i am not depressed i am disappointed the way my life turned out to be. so now i am working on the things that are disappointing in my marriage or in life in general. i do not think you are depressed, you might be disappointed the way your xap turned out to be or the way your A ended. try to think about the positive outcomes you got from ending your A like gaining your dignity back, like no more lies no more putting up with his bs or his lies .
i do not know if i made sense to you i m not a good writer in general. however, i been following your posts and i felt the need to share something from my own experience.
hugs
Thank you acleanstart,
I do feel a little better today.
Mickey,
I saw your post last night but wasn't alone in the house and couldn't respond. I've been struggling a lot lately too for some reason. I was doing great and all of a sudden it just hit me...sadness all the way through my bones and in every fiber of my being. It sucks!
I started trying to remember how I got past this sadness before (as I've said in other posts, I got thru this once and then stupidly, stupidly let him back in). I remember this all encompassing sadness about three weeks into NC...then by the time he emailed me 4 weeks later, I was better. Not even thinking about him anymore. It was great!! That's why I thought I could handle responding to his fishing attempt...yeah, as soon as I heard his voice, it was ALL over AGAIN...I think I'm kicking myself more for that decision than for getting into it in the first place because by then I should have known better!
ANYWAY, like I said, I'm trying to remember everything I did then to feel better and I've been doing all of it except for the one thing I forgot until just the other day. I had started taking an herbal anti-depressant. I started taking it again now and I think it might be helping. It's called 5-HTP. If you don't want to go the actual medication route, it might be worth
Pages