I get it now!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2012
I get it now!!!
5
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 5:51pm

A few weeks ago, I posted on our site and found myself assuming the role of the victim.  I was blaming my H's deep-rooted insecurities and anger as the "reason" for my A.  I was really down and having a pity party.  To some extent, I still am having that pity party, but the difference is I can now objectively see what everyone was trying to tell me.

I certainly don't want to be a victim and absolutely want to take control of my life to try to make it better.

On Facebook, I subscribe to a page entitled, "Lessons Learned In Life."  Most often their beauitful posts are uplifting and speak to me.  Today's certainly did: 

You will find that some people have a habit of blaming their circumstances or mistakes on fate or bad luck. Very few will admit that often, it's because of the choices they've made. In life, this is the basis or groundwork you need to prosper; the ability to accept it, take responsibility, learn from it and move on.  (Link to this page here:  http://www.facebook.com/lessonslearnedinlife.)

To those of you who tried hard to enlighten me, I say "thank you", for if you had not taken the time to so selflessly respond to me, I might not have begun a search for the truth you were trying so hard to get me to understand.

To my American compatriots, have a lovely Thanksgiving.  To all my friends here, have a lovely week.  Here's to taking responsibility and having the courage to make a better life for ourselves!

Best wishes,

PAC

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 7:11pm

Ohhh (((Pac)))

It did my heart good to read this...even choked me up a bit.

I'm so happy for you.  Nothing can stop you now!

Thank you for the link.  I'm going to check it out.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too :)

Clarity

Community Leader...EAS


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2012
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 8:28pm

All I can say is, *THANK YOU* WC for your very, very generous time and attention to these support boards.  Recovering after ending an affair is an extremely lonely road  - at least for me since I elected not to tell my husband and only a very select few friends know my story.  I'm sure that's the case for so many who post here.  Having someone like you to communicate with, as a confidante; who can lend very sound advice (when so much bad, unqualified advice seems to be available elsewhere) is not only invaluable, but a lifesaver.  I am so lucky to be the beneficiary of your wise feedback.  THANK YOU!  ((HUGS)) - PAC

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 8:51pm

Thank you, Pac

Community Leader...EAS


Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 10:05am

PAC, isn’t the realization that it’s all due to our own choices liberating?  Blaming others whether H, mommy, xAP…, or situations, luck, karma, fate, etc… for our predicament keeps us stuck and keeps us from taking action.  The revelation that our past choices got us here also reveals that our current choices can get us to a better happier future and we can free ourselves from this “stuckness”

Hugs,

 

Happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 10:15am
Great post. Self discovery and seeing things and ourselves in a tru light is awakening.