I got caught
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I got caught
| Sun, 05-15-2005 - 7:07pm |
To make a long story short...I am married my BF was single. He met another woman and we continued on as friends. His GF is very jealous and couldn't accept the fact that we were friends. After 6 months of playing a game with both of them, she did her homework and found my home phone number and called my H. I answered the phone and didnt' know it was her. I handed H the phone!! She told him everything. I have not told my H the truth about everything. I denied the fact that we slept together...just said we were friends and had breakfast and dinner together once in a while. I just can't tell him the whole truth because he is willing ot move forward and trust that I am telling him the truth about the "friendship". She called again. Said she has some of my belongings and emails that she printed out. I have decided to cut all ties with BF...Hurts very much. Deleted everything I had just today...Threw out anything that I had. Sent him an email telling him I am cutting the ties that bind. He kicked the GF out...No longer has a relationship with her. WE are all out! I find myself checking my email to see if he is emailing me...I have to have a full break from him. My H has decided to give me another chance and move forward. How do I do this...I fell in love with BF. I also love H. It all just sucks! Any advice??

That new GF sounds like a wicked witch. It truly was not her place to do the things she did. Just rotten to the core. Truth is, you WILL have to cut all ties with the BF. It won't be easy to continue your marriage and have your husband worrying over this BF--as long as you remain his friend. I'm glad the BF got rid of that woman, but he needs to find another one that is SINGLE, (and someone who is not going to wreck people's lives). You should consider yourself lucky that your husband is not freaking out..and love him all you can.. make plans for "dates" with your hubby and reawaken anything that has lulled to sleep in your relationship.
Fly
You need to prepare yourself for the time that will arrive pretty soon when your husbands Shock weres off, when it doe he is going to go through a huge range of emotions most not very pretty.
Time to STOP thinking of the XOM as the BF he is not he was an intruder in your husbands marriage and if HE really cared about you he would not have involved himself with you and risked your marriage and if you have children there home and family...when you really care about someone you do what you have to to protect them even if it means leaving them alone.
Needless to say TOTAL NO CONTACT with XOM is a must both now and forever if you intend to remain married. Do not LIE to your husband anymore everytime he discouvers another lie it will be like a fresh slap in the face for him the time for the time honered but stupid DENY DENY DENY is past.
Be honest and get into MC ASAP also look at individual C to investiage way you chose to betray your wedding vows....YOU need to be focusing on your husband and your marriage only.
JMHO
Free
Your right, it does suck, but what a sense of freedom & relief you must feel.
I just ended a two-year affair w/a MM to hopefully avoid hurting my family and his. It was the right thing to do. For the first time in 2 years I finally did the right thing.
It is very difficult, but I am enjoying the sense of freedom that comes from NOT having to lie and worry. My advice to you...do the same.