I had to safe guard myself
Find a Conversation
I had to safe guard myself
| Wed, 05-19-2010 - 11:09am |
Ladies, I had to come here and my tail may be between my legs but I had to protect ME!!! It was time for me to be selfish and not worry what XMM thought or felt. Im hoping that you understand why I did this.
We have been LC since Jan ( he had a dday in Oct, I have not) and he emailed me early last week wanting to be "friends". I know that isnt possible and there is no point in maintaining any contact with him so I didnt even respond. Till today anyway....He sent me another email and it

GMLB,
I do not think it was a good idea. I feel your email was straigt forward, but ignoring him would have had a better and bigger effect. I know this is hard. But me and the rest of the NC police are going to tell you that it was pointless to send that email. If anything you opened the door.
How do you know he will let you be? How do you know he will not email you again? How are you so sure she will not show up outside your job? U opened a door that had been closed. The fishing attempts will likely continue. Why would he start to respect your wishes? If he had any respect for you he would have left you alone already.
I do not think you have safeguarded yourself. You should have come here and we would have talked you thru it. 48 hours remember. Janes rule? Now you will be checking your email and looking for a response.
I wish you had come here first. I am still here to support you. But I do not support your actions.
You have been so far and have worked so hard and you have helped so many...just hard to see you take a step back.
I know you might feel like you took your power back but I do not think so, I wonder if you made yourself more vulnerable. I hope I am wrong.
Delete all those emails from him so you do not read it over and over and over. And do send anything else. EVER. Even if he responds.
oh, i just re-read your post. your email that we should not be emailing one another...he emailed you? so shouldnt it have said that he shouldnt be calling you...just a thought
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Due to being LC for work I always kept any contact with him lately just business. I think now that he knows he has no reason to contact me, he wanted to play the friend card. I didnt respond to his 1st email but when I got the 2nd, I felt I needed to make the jump from LC to NC very clear to him.
I wont be checking my email for him because I really am confidant that he will not email me or fish any more and for the 1st time in many months Im relieved not to. I thought about Janes 48 hour rule and I have just had enough. He doesnt know what the benefits of NC are, heck he doesnt even know the concept. I demanded it today because we no longer have a need to remain LC.
Thanks for supporting me even though you do not support what I did. His email has been deleted and BLOCKED!! I got to wash my hands today because I dont have his work contract hanging over my head saying I have to be cordial anymore. Work was the only reason we were LC anyway.
I dont feel like I took a step back, I really dont. I just feel like a weight has been lifted and now that I dont have to worry about work, I blocked and walked.
If he fishes, he wont be catching anything. LOL!!!
Thanks Luvin, knowing you still support me even though, like a bad kid I disappointed you, means the world to me.
GMLB
GMLB,
<>
I can only hope you are right, although I had to chuckle a little over the word "honor." ;-)
Okay, on a more serious note, if you think this is what you needed to do, then SO BE IT. Nothing you can do now about it, but just BEWARE that if he fluffs this off and tries to make contact again, you KNOW what NOT to do next time, right?
For your sake, I do hope he "gets it", and will finally get the heck out of your life for good.
((Hugs))
~Iddy~
Definitely you're getting your life back GMLB!
GMLB,
You are brave for your honesty here.
Thanks Magenta!!! And I do solemly swear that any future fishiing attempts from XMM shall go unanswered.
I know that going NC is pretty cut and dry but I needed to let him know. I knew that once he got shot down by telling him Im done, that he would stop. Most importantly, I knew that once I did that, I could walk out to my car, check my email and not have to hold my breath looking for him.
Last night I drove home and was kind of sad but once I got home and immursed myself with my H and kids, I realized that for the 1st time my thoughts were my own. I wasnt having dinner yet thinking of XMM, I wasnt tucking my boys into bed yet thinking of him. And what a relief that was.
Magenta, you hang in there. Ive been thinking about you today and the women on here have been giving you some fantastic advise. Just remember that you are indeed worthy. We just made a mistake. As long as we learn from it then we can move forward more a more wise and stronger woman than we once were.
Thanks ladies for all of your support. I wouldnt have been able to shoot him down yesterday if it werent for this board.
GMLB