I hate that he thinks I don't care.
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|Wed, 09-19-2012 - 1:11pm|
I heard through the grapevine of mutual acquaintances that xAP is hurt and upset that I can just end our relationship so quickly and without a care. No one knows we were anything more than close friends... so basically they just think we had a falling and that I stopped contact (our tension was always obvious so having a fight isn't so hard to believe - haha).
Him thinking I don't care, that it was easy to let go, etc. really upsets me, cuz it's so far from the truth. I still care a lot about him and I feel terrible, putting myself in his shoes as he's hurting and missing me, thinking I don't feel the same.
I guess this not wanting to hurt someone and make them feel good is part of what got me into the A. I could sense his desire to be with me, and part of me "got off" on fulfilling that for him, making him happy. To clarify though, I never had sex with him, and he never pushed for it... I don't go that far. And now I have no interest in being with him but feel depressed because I don't and he wants me to still want him/need him. How f-ed up is this?!?