I have a decision to make and I'm freaking out already!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011
I have a decision to make and I'm freaking out already!!!!!
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 1:24pm

I rarely post anymore, but to recap my story for those interested:  I had an affair with a man I attend church with.  We have been NC for 4 1/2 months now and I can honestly say I am doing great!!  Sure, he still crosses my mind daily, but not in the crazy obsessive way he used to.  I have come to a point that I can accept it is over, but am not at the point that he is "just another guy" in the room.  The attraction is still there.  

Anyway, our church camping trip is a little over a month away.  I am stressing out over whether to attend or not.  My kids really want to go and we had a great time last year.  I know I can be with him for 2 days and ignore his existance...that isn't my concern.  My concern is how it will affect me mentally/emotionally now that I am doing so much better.  I am scared it will set me back into the pain and heartbreak of the early ending and I DO NOT want to go through that again.  So, I have to decide if I am healed enough that it won't break my heart being with him around the clock for 2 days.....ugh!!!  I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!


Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!