I have finally returned...need you all

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
I have finally returned...need you all
18
Sat, 03-05-2011 - 8:57am

My dear EAS friends...it has been almost a year to the day that my A ended the first time. The day I received my tweener wings, he fished. I was sucessful in ignoring the attempt, but didn't last past day 102. I have now wasted another year of my life in the depths of hell with all the pain, ups, downs, despair, guilt, obsessions... the waiting, the wanting, the hating, the feel goods...and the ultimate lows.

During this whole time, I never left this board, I read all the posts, I agonized with all the newbies, I rejoiced with all the successes, I read with envy all the milestones that my fellow posters made it through. I always knew in my heart I would be back. I tried sevearl times to go NC...I never made it past 4 days. On Feb 16 I had my final say...but broke it on day 12

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 03-05-2011 - 3:49pm

Healing, I'm rushing to get my kids out the door for weekend sports, so don't have much time to write but I did just want to say a very warm WELCOME to you.

I am so happy that you have put this A behind you once and for all and have rejoined us in this wonderful place of healing and growth. You can check your baggage in behind the counter until you're ready to unpack it one bag at a time. And we'll all be here to help you.

Sunshine and smiles

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 2:03am

Hi Healing

I remember you from your posts last year. 2010 was a write for me too - in so many ways.

I also went great with NC and then crashed recently. I think TU is spot on- NC is one part of it, but the REAL work is what we do on ourselves!!!

Im looking forward to hanging out with you here on EAS. We will kick 2011's a$$ :)

Iggyxx

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 9:30am

Thank you again ladies. Jen, Kat and TU and Iggy. Much needed words of encouragement. TU...you were always there to lend such incredible words of wisdom to me last year, I promise to work harder and take these words even a step further in my healing process. Iggy, your post about reframing your thoughts have helped me in the past few days especially! Ladies...I am ready to unpack a bag at a time, but struggling with HOW to begin to heal MYSELF...

I am well aware that is really what it takes. Letting go of the "why" is it over and figuring out the "why" it began at all. This will take a lot of time since I never was able to figure that out last year. In reality, maybe I didn't try hard enough??? Let the journey begin... together.

Thanks again

Healing

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 6:27am

Healing,

Welcome Back. I'm really sorry you're having to go through all this ending pain again. On the other hand, I think you are much wiser

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 7:58am

Healing,

You have already recieved great words of advice and support. Allow me to add that I have thought of you often through my own journey and I know that you are strong enough to pull through this.

Dont feel that you have to mentally or emotionally

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 8:09am

GMLB!!!!! I have never stopped thinking about you! We WEREon our journey at the exact same time and I know you have gone through so much. I have not seen you much on here and wondered all the time how you were. This is going to be a hard road...but yes I have the resolve (not confidence yet, but will work on that) to get through this. You were an amazing support and I look forward to hearing from you. Can you send private messages on here??? If so, send one and I will return it or just explain how. Good to be back!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 12:00pm

Ah, Healing.

:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 5:05pm

Healing,

I sent you a private message through your ivillage account. Please feel free to email me back, I included my email address and hope to hear from you.

GMLB

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