I hit My Wall

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
I hit My Wall
26
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 2:15pm

It doesnt happen often...but when It does,

IT ROCKS ME TO MY CORE.

Suddenly I feel like Im scrambling - (in my head) and FIDGETY as if Im shaking to get that fix.

Im so meticulous, that when my house of cards come tumbling down....I know EXACTLY what unraveled me.

1. I had a date on Friday

2. We went to the hospital Saturday night (still no baby); he reached out to my daughter's boyfriend to check on the baby status

3. I start

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 6:23pm

Michelle, my sweet little EAS sister, we are certainly trekking at about the same pace, aren't we?

Thank you so much for sharing your insights and posting the great ways in which you are coping. Your posts certainly help every one of us poor souls to either experience a light bulb moment or to, at the very least, smile.

Please keep us posted on the progress of grand baby. Sending warmth and best wishes to your daughter for an easy and safe delivery. For Grandma, I'm sending a pair of leopard thongs. (It's an old joke with a friend of mine--we will be the grannies still wearing thongs into our 70s!! hahaha)

xoxo

~alwayst2

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:10pm

Yes, Always...We sure are! When I saw what you posted...I felt IMMEDIATE IDENTIFICATION.

We really seem to have a similar - pattern of Excavation & AVOIDANCE in terms of digging into ourselves and doin the hard work then getting SICK OF IT...using a diversion.

HAAAAA! on the leopard thongs!!! I talked to a girl today that used to wear them around her neck as a neckscarf. hahaha. I think If I tried that...it'd probably look like I got drunk and slipped my panties over my head. hahahah.

Ive thankfully been busy all day - - and as of 6pm our time...we are still....BABYLESS.

I will definitely keep you posted!!! Can't wait!!!

xo,

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:11pm

Michelle,

burns when you touch that hot stove, huh?

boy oh boy, do i wish i could grab your xap by his cowardly, married balls and give him such a one upside the head that he'd thought he got two or three.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:36pm

Sunny!!!!

Thank you!!!

Do you know how hard it is to break down in front of you newer newbies.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:53pm

LILLIE...

YES.

OUCH.

jerk.

Me.

& him.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:54pm
Michelle...I don't have much time (been working 12 hour days and have a ton of of cleaning and packing to do before I leave for vacay) but wanted to come on and offer virtual hugs. Sorry you hit a wall hun; you have hit one of the low drop off points of this crazy rollercoaster ride we are all on. Good on you for writing out your feelings.

P.S. What a jerk exAP is. As IF you would wait 34 years for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:56pm

Wait 34 years for him??????? Are you freaking kidding me? You're my age, so you'll be 78. Tell him, sure - and bring the Depends and the Doans pills. What a tool.

On a serious note, I'm sure you've learned your lesson with cyber stalking. You will soon have your hands full with a wonderful new life - I think that will take care of changing your focus away from d-bag.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 9:32pm

Hello Michelle,

So sorry that your jerk exAP sent you that IM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 10:07pm

(((((Cait)))))

You've been looking sooo forward & are deserving of this vacation!!!

Youll surely have a beautiful time!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 10:13pm

Doans, Depends & Viagra!!!!

And that's just NEXT YEAR!!!! hahahhahah

Uh, yah. Pass. I would find it difficult to BE with him for the next 34...let alone WAIT for him. :) (that was a shot)

Oh yes. I actually think I HAVE learned my lesson about cyberstalking.

I may as well take a rusty dagger and plunge it into my eardrum.

No more SELF HARM.

Thank you for your guidance, Bodhi.

xo

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010