I just want to lash out

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
I just want to lash out
5
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 7:38am

OK I woke up

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 10:52am

bb,


Ah, that 'ol anger is getting the better of you. BTDT. Do nothing, say nothing to him.


Vent here or in a private journal. But don't give him the pleasure of seeing you upset. It gives him more power, in a way. Anger has a way of helping us get

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 7:02pm

Hi Butterbee,


Hopefully you will be home and have had a glass of wine by the time you read my reply.


It sounds like you’re angrier than a pre-menopausal woman who is PMSing while she is stuck in rush hour traffic after leaving home late for work and is wearing her coffee on her new white blouse. On days like that, you can only hope you wore comfortable shoes because who needs aching feet on top of it all.


Whew…I can only begin to imagine how hard you had to bite your tongue today. On the up side, maybe it will be so swollen tomorrow from your teeth marks that you won’t be able to talk thus avoiding telling xAP what an @$$ he is.


OK all kidding aside. It is so hard to have to look at or interact with them after the A ends. One very wise lady that is in a LC situation shared with me; It’s a continual hurt. Each day a simple look or ANYTHING they say or don’t say, can open up the wound. It’s hell but you have the strength of the ladies on her in LC who have made it to the other side.


Hmmmm makes me wonder if for those who can carry pepper spray legally, can say they accidentally sprayed their xAP because it was dark in the hallway and they thought

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 8:18pm

I didn't do well today.


I did lash out at XAP...though not as much as I wanted.


I really tried...but he was behaving as if nothing happened and I just snapped. I slammed the office door shut and through clenched teeth snapped "What do you expect of me...like nothing happened...why are you here?" I was so furious. He said he'd leave but he thought we could work together. I asked how his wife was doing with that and he said she hates it (well DUH!!). I don't remember how we got there but I remember telling him that he lied to me for the last two years and if I hadn't seen the email he'd still be lying to me. I still don't remember all of it ...but told him that I was very angry and hurt by what he'd done. He said he was so sorry he hurt me...I told him to get out. I was physically shaking.


Within the hour he was so smug...and I knew that I had made a huge mistake! I ended up giving me what he wanted with my anger.


I've read so much here and I knew better...but I did it anyway. It put me in a worse

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 8:51pm

Butterbee,


After a day like that it makes you wonder if people in Hell are having a better day. Thank God that Taser stayed in the car.


<<I'd be sure to shoot it toward his you know what! I certainly don't have a need for it anymore!!!

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 7:51am

E1,


Thank you so much!. Your positive out look and helping bring a sense of humor to what seemed like a humorless situation, has helped so much!


Thank you form the bottom of my heart!


I have decided that I am going to