I know what my prob is - what do u think
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I know what my prob is - what do u think
| Wed, 10-27-2004 - 11:56am |
When I was younger and before I was married I had a couple of bad breakups. It was like the guy and I really liked each other and everything was great. I would feel like he was really into me. Then I guess I would start letting all my guards down and they would start backing off or show less interest. This happened a couple of times for me. I guess that explains kinda what happened with XMM. I guess if I would have continued to play games and played hard to get then I wouldn't feel so rejected at the end. I hate playing games especialy since I am married. If I would have just let things be and not try to understand why he wasn't calling me every day maybe I could have walked away feeling better. I basically gave him a hard time everytime we talked after I broke it off the second time. I would never bring up leaving his wife but would talk about why we are still doing this. I guess I pushed him away. I pushed him to not want to talk to me anymore bc I wasn't being the happy go lucky person when we talked everytime.

I am of the opinion that no one walks away from an A feeling good. So what you're experiencing is normal. But what you seem to want to feel, may not be acheivable...and in the end, why does it matter at all how it ended??
My only advice, and this helped me, was to not re-think in my mind (to the extent I could block it), all the conversations etc that led up to the breakup w/exMM. I mean, what would be the point? It was over, and that's that. I needed to move and and focus on me...you need to do that same...for the very least, for your own sanity.
I re-think things all the time. If I only woulda, coulda, shoulda....but it does no good. All we can do is move forward and try to find peace.
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige