I know this is wrong

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
I know this is wrong
6
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 5:12pm

I know this is wrong but I just saw the ex wife go by in the opposite direction of where she lives and in the direction of where he lives and it's driving me crazy that she might be over at his house. He has their son so I wonder if he invited her over for supper. I want to drive by his house but I can't. This wrong. He and I are thru and I have to get it thru my head and most importantly, my heart. I miss him so much. I miss talking to him and smelling him and touching him. Having him call me and tell me he loves me. I have felt so alone in this until now. Now that I know others have been thru this and have made it I feel like I can make it too. I read some of the other posts and I thought I was reading my own story. Wow, I'm really not alone. That feeling is amazing. I hope you guys can help me. I to have thought about suicide but I know I could never do it but the pain is so bad.

This have to get better soon.
Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:06pm
Yikes, Robin. When we end these As we should have our drivers' licenses revoked. Can I tell you how many times I cruised by the XMM's house in the first few weeks/months after we ended it???? Actually embarrassing when I think about it. You're so not alone, but honey, suicide is so not even an option. The feelings will pass. Love and hugs, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:55pm

robin,

pls dont even think of hurting yourself, i know the feeling is very painful, u feel like the sky has fallen down on you but its not worth it, your family loves you, your friends loves you, we all care about u in this board, pls keep posting if u feel like venting or talking or whatever, just post anything if u want

hey, im jut like u, i want to drive at OW house, i actually did, my god how stupid was that, i felt like a stalker, if she knew she would probably freak out , i know how it feels, up to now i still think of her all the time, i wander what she is doing now, who is she with, is she happy or sad, i get to see her at work also so it make it even harder for me but im taking it one day at a time, just keep on going, rent some funny movies

but like i said, dont forget to eat and feed yourself, u dont want to be weak and get sick

take care,
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 8:56pm
It's funny you should mention eating, I lost 18lbs the first month. I've only lost 6lbs in Feb. He's off work now on stress leave so I don't see him much right now but he'll be back in April. I can eat but I don't want to. I find the feeling of being hungry comforting some how. I would never hurt myself even though I thought it would be nice. I'm a wimp when it comes to that stuff. I didn't go over tonight. I told myself it was too far to drive, it's 15 minutes away. What would I do when I got there anyway? If she's there so what! If she's not there maybe someone else is or maybe he's talking to her on the phone. Who knows, the not knowing what is going on in his life is hard b/c I used to be such a big part of it. I miss him every day. He told me to move on and I don't know how. It was so sudden and out of the blue. Why did he say all those things? I don't get it. I might never get it I guess.
Thanks for listening. I feel so alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 12:12am

u r not alone, we are all here, i know how it feels, OW lives like 10 miles away, so easy to go there, i think of here all the time, i wonder what she is doing ...etc...

the thinking will drive us crazy, u have to keep yourself busy, i know its easier said than done but u/we can do it

post on this board if u feel lonely, im single and i live by myself, so my only companion at nite is my tv set, sometimes i get a call from a friend or i call a friend but they all have lives to live also, so most of the time i read the psit here and write, i watch tv or read a book, i have a problem sleeping, i fall asleep in the couch all the time, i cant sleep in my bed coz i keep thinking of OW so i watch tv until i fall asleep

i lost a lot of weight and i cant seem to gain it, the most hardest time is on the weekends, i cant seem to drag myself out of the house

u missed the routine, we are sometimes a creature of habit and now that feeling of doing the same thing with him is gone and we are experiencing withdrawal symptoms

take care, i love coffee ice cream btw ,

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 1:18am

Robin... you will get through this once you start living YOUR life and stop obsessing over his....which you do know you have no control over.

Cry, scream, punch a pillow or a wall....cry until you can't cry anymore but then, you have to let it and HIM go simply because you ARE worth so much more then you are giving yourself.

Put YOURSELF first will ya? Once the sanity comes back.... it feels GREAT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 8:41am

robin,

i once read an article which said those thoughts of suicide are to end the feelings of being hurt and not really your life.

it is very painful. but each day it does get better.

my life changed after my A. i am no longer the happy person i use to be. I am not happy in my relationship with my H and i feel the emptiness of the attention i use to get from OM.

my only advise is...NC. that is really the only thing that will help you move on and with time you will put him behind you.

hope you have a nice day...