i lost my 29 days

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
i lost my 29 days
7
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:06pm
Well I f****** up. I feel sick. He left a vm to please call and I did. It was bad. I told him all or nothing. He said it was my fault that I won't bear with him and give him time and do this "right" then I said don't call me anymore and he said he never ever would in a mean way.

I just left him a vm at work to get on Mon because I figured since I already broke NC it didn't matter. I asked him to change his mind and choose me that we would be happy together and that I would love him and love his children and that our children would be glad that we were happy. I did it because he left me one yr ago Oct 22 and I am moving on now--1 yr is long enough to grieve--but I wanted to say that to him at least once before it was over--because I have tried all I can try now.

Anyway--I don't feel good--it would have been a lot better if I had kept NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:12pm
Survive....

BUT YOU MADE IT 29 DAYS! That is great! Don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the wagon!


Need2

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:40pm
Survive

All you can do now is learn from this mistake don't repeat it get back on your feet and start again.

You may want to leave another VM telling him to just forget the first one and do not contact me again or this may start a cycle of calls.

Be Strong

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 8:25am

Sending you hugs, Survive!


I'm sorry you are going through this rough spot. Facing the anniversary of ending it must be tough and bring up all kinds of emotions. You fell of the wagon...most of us have. Just jump back on and find your strength. I agree with Free. It might be a good idea to leave him one last message telling him you had a moment of weakness and thought better of it-and tell him not to call. It just might reinforce what you know you need to do, as well as save you from a week of torment anticipating his call. For me, waiting and wondering is the worst.


Keep us posted, and here's to ANOTHER 29 days and more! You can do it!


Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:46am
Thanks for your replies. I took your advice and called back and said that I didn't want him to call, email, instant message or anything and to do it for love of me because it is best for me and I would do it for love of him because it was best for him.

That night he left 5 drunken phone calls that were not nice.

Monday he called but I wasn't at work and he left 2 messages just saying he was sorry for the way it ended, thank you for loving me, and he would not call me anymore because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore.

I cried because he was really sweet but...I am relieved that I am back to my REAL LIFE again and I will just keep going forward. I can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:28am
hi there Survive--

I am so happy for you! Keep up the good work; each day will get a bit easier :-)

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 9:22am
Survive

You did the only thing you could do to move forward, things will get better

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:48am
Survive, don't worry about the NC lapse. I did it myself, and I regretted it in a way, but in a way, it helped me move on even more quickly. I hope this has the same effect for you.