I messed up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
I messed up.
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 12:48pm

He fished again yesterday, this time via text (guess he didn't delete MY info as I told him to). He apologized for "stalking" but really wanted to know how I was and that he was "having difficulty with the silent treatment." I was stupid and thought that the only way to ensure he stops is to just respond but make it clear I intentionally am out of contact, so I texted back to say I am fine but chose not to respond because there's no appropriate response.

He said responding was the "right response" and this started up a short, casual exchange, him asking about me questions (which I just replied to in a few casual words) and him telling me a little about his past few weeks. He sounded super happy and had enthusiastic, positive responses to all my answers about doing well, vacation, etc...

So, it seems he got in touch just so I know he's doing well and to make sure I'm not all depressed or something. Jerk. Anyway, I ended the exchange abruptly when he asked a more personal question (about my friend who is sick). I said I didn't care to discuss that, then I said I'm glad we are both doing well and that this worked out for the best, Take care. He replied, "Sorry for bothering you. Cheers." And that was it - I didn't reply and deleted the whole thing.

I'm doing ok but feel dumb. This isn't a major setback and makes me like him even less, but I am ashamed I even answered. It proves even a casual, impersonal contact can hurt and is POINTLESS. What a selfish moron he is. And acting all excited for MY upcoming romantic vacation with DH? Seriously, grow up. My friend said she thinks this was his way of implanting himself back into my thoughts before I go. I replied, "I can't believe he'd be that tricky!" And she was like - Ummm, hello, look what he's been doing to his family with you! So true. Good riddance.

The only kind of "fish" I will allow from now on is the kind I'll be admiring while snorkling in a couple days.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 1:44pm
Oh, Redlightgo,
I am sorry to hear that you got pulled down a bit with this fishing fool. BUT, I am thrilled to hear you pulled yourself back up and are taking the necessary precautions to fight like he**!! You are proof to others who are wavering to STAY OFF THE HOOK...let the xap wonder wtf happened. It will NOT kill him/her. What it WILL do is prevent new hurts, feelings of stupidity and will allow you to regain your DIGNITY and keep it! :) These xap kind of fish are tricky little suckers. Leave them at the slimy bottom to find their own pond scum. This ship has sailed for smoother seas!!
Sweetie, while you have to set the NC clock back to today (it is a GREAT day to begin again!), you have learned so much from this experience and that is amazing!! :) Please enjoy your paradise vacation with your DH. Dig your toes in the sand, collect some seashells, and focus on being truly free from the pull of the A-hole. You can do this. I'm confident you can. ;)
check in with us when you return and let us know how it went!

Hearts <3