You've responded to me before and I have followed your posts closely. You always have so much insight. Thank you for sharing your feelings though I know you are in so so much pain. I wonder what I would do or how I would feel in your situation. It has crossed my mind hundreds of times the severe consequences of having my A discovered...and what it would do to my H, and the family.
I had so much hate for my H when my A started. That was two years ago. Now...things have changed a bit. My H can still be an Ahole, no doubt, but he has mellowed, as has my extreme hatred for him. Now, I face the fact that much of the hate/anger at my H was misdirected and actually caused by me, my own issues and insecurities. My anger and depression (which they say is anger, turned inwards...just a thought) have been caused by my emotional issues that I haven't faced.
After reading your post I am sitting here wondering if i would miss my H. I do not know. I think I would. I think he does much more than I realize. I think he cares more than I realize. Maybe the A fog has clouded my judgement so much that I have not wanted to see the things that H does for our marriage and our family. I think, once the reality of him being gone set in, I would freak out. He's been such a part of my life for years...if he left me, I just don't know how I would pick up the pieces.
My thoughts are wandering, and I apologize. You have given me a lot to think about.
((kmg6))
But, if others who lurk and post here read my post and turn away from their xap's before its too late, then I will be gratified.
I'm one of those kmg and had i come across at the start of my EA, I should have avoided
kmg, your pain is heard loud and clear. You are paying the ultimate price right now for the self indulgence of having
Kmg6 (HUGS)),
You've responded to me before and I have followed your posts closely. You always have so much insight. Thank you for sharing your feelings though I know you are in so so much pain. I wonder what I would do or how I would feel in your situation. It has crossed my mind hundreds of times the severe consequences of having my A discovered...and what it would do to my H, and the family.
I had so much hate for my H when my A started. That was two years ago. Now...things have changed a bit. My H can still be an Ahole, no doubt, but he has mellowed, as has my extreme hatred for him. Now, I face the fact that much of the hate/anger at my H was misdirected and actually caused by me, my own issues and insecurities. My anger and depression (which they say is anger, turned inwards...just a thought) have been caused by my emotional issues that I haven't faced.
After reading your post I am sitting here wondering if i would miss my H. I do not know. I think I would. I think he does much more than I realize. I think he cares more than I realize. Maybe the A fog has clouded my judgement so much that I have not wanted to see the things that H does for our marriage and our family. I think, once the reality of him being gone set in, I would freak out. He's been such a part of my life for years...if he left me, I just don't know how I would pick up the pieces.
My thoughts are wandering, and I apologize. You have given me a lot to think about.
Hugs to you, and thank you,
Misty