I must be sick in the head

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
I must be sick in the head
2
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 3:21pm

I know there is only me to blame for this. The set back from last week has indeed taken its toll. The reaction from my husband when he learned about the EA and his support and desire to fix the marriage just made me upset (something I am sure many would be envious of.) All this made me want OM more. We have a company formal function this weekend and I was hemming and hawing over going, not because I was afraid of OM and H being in same room but because of my racing feelings with both there. I found out yesterday OM was taking his ex-gf with him and my heart sunk. That is what is sick.

I want to move on. I know NC is the only way. But we work in the same office. I hear his voice. I smell his cologne. He is never not on my mind. I know you will all say with time it will heal, but what do I do in the meantime? How do I concentrate or focus on work, school, my husband....how do I get back the life I had from 3 months ago before OM walked into my life.




Edited 4/14/2005 1:44 pm ET ET by spanishtrain
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 3:52pm

SP,

its all up to u

- here is some simple things i can think of

1. were a stronger perfume so u smell yourself and not his
2. avoidance detection, mean if u detect his presence , try to turn the other way anr run
3. function, dont go, take your H to a movie, go out and eat
4. concentrate on school , i know it is hard but u got to at least try
5. go on break on a different time and dont go to the same place u and him used to frequent on your breaks

just me thinking loud, i hope this helps

i know its not easy, heck im also in your shoes but i try to avoid to, its the only way and keep yourself busy at work

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 5:22pm

ST, you're not sick in the head...you're sick someplace else. Your job is to find out WHERE. Clearly, your thinking is a bit off here, but its likely being driven by something else. So, I'll bring up the darned void again. You've got a void and you found a way to fill it, with XOM (notice I'm calling him "X"OM?) There have been various times in my life when I sat back and said to myself, "yes, indeed, I'm sick." In pretty much every case, I've gone on to learn things about myself that caused my behavior in those "sick" situations. As I've had more and more therapy, things have become clearer and clearer, to the point that I look back on things I did and what I thought even just last year and wonder "what the heck was I thinking????"

You need to figure out why you keep doing this, and honey, it ain't his voice or his cologne (as alluring as they both may be). He's pushing some other button, and you aren't likely to stop acting out on it until to figure out what that button is. And maybe figure out a way for your DH to push it instead???? JMHO. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10