i need advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
i need advice!!
3
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 11:48am
i've been seeing a man who has a girlfriend of almost 3 years . we've been seeing each other for almost 1 year and he has told me he is going to move out of his girlfriend's home and will be breaking up with her to be with me. this has been going on for about 4 months . well i am kind of getting tired of waiting i am getting upset alot and i just want him to be mine - and only mine. he keeps saying that the only difference that would occur is that he would be going home to his house instead of his girlfriends. well no sh*t! not to mention the fact i would have peace of mind also . i want to give him an altimatum (if that is how u spell it!!) he says he loves me - he wants to be with me - he can't wait to be with me-- and of course because of circumstances i think it is bullsh*t!! please help!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 1:28pm
The best thing to do is initiate NC until he makes up his mind on what he wants to do.

The other thing to think about is if he ever does break up with his GF to be with you, do you think he might do the same thing to you someday.

My advise is not to wait around for him.

JMO

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 5:07pm
Hi trisha,

One point I have to make very very clear, DO NOT GO GIVING HIM ULTIMADUMS UNLESS YOUR READY TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT! Also you must understand that by doing so that you are risking the chance that you may not be the one that he chooses to be with. Tough call, I know but take it from one who's been there, if you say something and then back off when things don't go your way they (men) get a better sense of control and you look very needy.

Debbie

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 9:00pm
sounds to me like u already know what the deal is trisha. this guy is not even married to this woman, but feels like he cannot leave her. I don't think that giving him an ultimatum is being unreasonable. you have given him a year of your life...how much more are you willing to give up for him?

Jazzdiva