I need advice of what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
I need advice of what to do
4
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 10:30am
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Edited 2/8/2005 9:56 am ET ET by littlesoul2
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 2:03pm
Hi littlesoul,
I actually wrote you out a long response to your problem but my computer ate it before i could post. Anyways, I say to look at the situation through the eyes of a single person. If you were a single gal would you put up with the way he talked to you? Because he IS a single guy. You have to realize (it took me a long time to do)that he is single. You are not. No matter how truthful you say you have been to him in your affair, you are still a liar. (not trying to sound rude but it took me awhile to really realize these things)You are still with your husband so why shouldn't he basically do as he pleases? He really doesn't owe you anything. I don't really know how deep your relationship is with him and I am not trying to judge your situation but stick around and read some of the past posts (especially posts by mefreenow) and gain some insight on the reality of an affair. I was pretty crushed and wasted by my year and a half affair but this board has helped me tremendously. Good luck to you. Only you can make the right decisions for yourself!
~nuttmeg
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 2:25pm
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Edited 2/10/2005 11:14 am ET ET by littlesoul2
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 3:34pm
Trust me i completely understand your feelings. My OM was a single guy also, although we didn't have anywhere near the connection you 2 seem to have. I spent over a year doubting everything he said to me. Knowing he was lying to me but i still kept wanting him and going back to his crap. I would sit and wonder where he was and who he was with dand waste my time away all weekend. It is really hard to sit and think and decipher everything someone says to you. I'm sorry that your connection w/ OM is so deep it would make it harder to just walk away from as I did with my A. But I still do have days where i want him in my life again. I want the attention. I want him to want me. The pain is the same for us both. You have it a little harder b/cause you can't just stop calling/accepting calls from him as easily as I did. But it seems like it would really be for the best if you did. At this point your friendship probably won't be the same b/cause of the A. You have the strength to get throug this.
hugs
~Meg
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 6:00pm
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Edited 2/10/2005 11:14 am ET ET by littlesoul2