I need to be whipped I think
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I need to be whipped I think
| Thu, 02-17-2011 - 5:32pm |
Ok I wrote that whole long post and actually felt good then the phone rings and it's a friend of mine who if xaps neighbor... I'm going to say right now that I know how irrational it is but at this stage of the game it doesn't matter.... His wife is a big girl really big and honestly I've always liked it that way I know how superficial that is but there you have it anyway my friend just saw them and shes lost a whole bunch and I want to crawl the walls bad... I shouldn't care it shouldn't matter but it does somebody help me this irrational thought is hurting me....and yes I told friend not to tell me things anymore

Happy -
I'm glad you told your friend not to tell you things anymore. You need to repeat this over and over right now as your mantra "It doesn't matter". His W could look like Heidi freaking Klum - it doesn't matter. This is about YOU. No contact. It doesn't matter. Got it??
Bodhi
Happy,
Remember focus on YOU.
YOU can make different choices about what you choose to think about. YOU are not a hostage to your thoughts. Use distraction, re-framing, movement ... but stop allowing yourself to be bothered by the coming & goings of a man that was never yours.
LFH - Your pain comes through your posts and I was there not long ago.
My xAP went back to his GF less than a week (now i can't remember) after we "broke up" and told me "Don't screw it up."
LFH - No, it is NOT easy in any shape or form, and i doubt any one of us here was able to turn it off - I certainly didn't and still can't completely.
It takes focus and work - there's an excellent article in the HL about stopping obsessive thinking - I had to yell "STOP" when I was alone in the car and found myself thinking irrational thoughts of xAP.
Everyone's experience is different so I can only speak for my own - for me, it was about a week and a half to two weeks of NC that I started to feel sane and stopped obsessing.