I need a bit of support ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
I need a bit of support ....
1
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 7:18pm
8 months ago my affair ended after 5yrs of going on. It ended with out any reason given. It just was there one day and gone the next. It was a LD relationship made of lies and anything else that comes along with an affair but one thing I do know is that I loved him. I truly must have or I don't think I would still be grieving. I feel like a part of my heart is gone and will never be the same again. Lately all I can do is wonder how he is and I have been wanting to send him a message to see how he is doing. I know I hurt him not being able to leave this life to start a new one with him. Yes I was wrong to have given him a false hope but he was also wrong for saying it was okay then decided it was wrong all of a sudden. I just can't kick this feeling of not knowing if I could have truly been happy with him? A happiness that does not come with just being comfortable. I think of what might have been? Then I also think of the hurt I would have caused my innocent family if they would have had to deal with the break up and shame I caused.
It's hard to have been with someone for one reason but realize it was truly love you had for that person....Okay I'm rambling now.
I just needed to express my grief some where.
Healed or so I thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 9:15pm

Healed

>>"A happiness that does not come with just being comfortable."<<

What makes you think that if you had got together with XOM that in 4 or 5 years of 24/7 comfortable is not what you would have ended up with again IF YOU WERE VERY LUCKY that is.

Theres not one damn thing wrong with comfortable, it is a place that healthy relationships get to in time, when your old and gray which will come SOONER then you think your going to thank God for that comfortable reliable HUSBAND you have.

Free