I need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
I need help
Sat, 06-09-2012 - 10:59am
How do I get myself out of this situation how xap family and mine are very close we are with them all the time if I disappear there will be questions my husband is in the same company as him there are tons of family things but its making me sick. I'm going to go crazy I know I could make excuses but every time will look funny what do I do I'm going to go insane.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Sat, 06-09-2012 - 11:28pm

LFH - You've been given some great advice here - but maybe you aren't hearing because this decision is really hard - you may even have said that we don't understand.  I guarantee you - this board is the one place that absolutely DOES understand.  You are not the first (nor will you be the last) to have muddled the lines in a close knit community of friends and thereby dirtying the water you play in.

Here's the truth - You chose to cross boundaries and now you are forced to make some crucial choices.  It is guilt that making you feel obligated to remain friends and not rock the boat further - only guilt.  There will be questions - yup there will be - and the suggestion that you are dealing with some personal things is a BEAUTIFUL one that people can relate and understand - in fact some will even praise your bravery in conquering the need to strengthen yourself.

Better yet - Play out the scenario - you don't go.  Will hell freeze over?  Will the sun not rise?  It isn't the status quo but like it or not - life will go on.  Get your spouse in on it - tell him you are dealing with some emotional things - and you are needing more personal time/ and together time with just him to deal with things.  HE will have your back.  It's what they do - You can do this. 

Please let us know how you are.