I need to let this go.. but I can't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
I need to let this go.. but I can't
12
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:27pm

I need to stop thinking about what happened and stop asking why this happened but I can't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 4:49pm

Hi JP,

I am sorry for your pain, but you won't get your answers. The A is over. You have gone NC and you are still maintaining it. GOOD FOR YOU.

Please answer me this...what could xAP ever say to you to satisfy or justify his behavior from your questions below.

<>

There is nothing he can say and HONESTLY, it does not matter anymore. I know it hurts. I have a lot of unanswered questions myself, but you have to let go. You can't beat yourself up like this.

TAKE CARE OF YOU!

MO

MovingON

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 5:02pm

J_L,


<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 5:55pm
You are not the only one. I am going through almost exactly the same thing. He just disappeared. I just posted my story today it is under what happened. I know how you feel, the not knowing is so hard. I feel for you so much. You want to let go but you want an answer. You can't believe he didn't mean the things he said. No one could be that deceptive could they? I am constantly coming up with what ifs to try and explain it to myself. But is is all supposition until we know right? If you need to talk let me know. I don't know if you have your whole story posted. I will try and find it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:09am
"...I lost sight of what was supposed to happen. I know I am saying this in a round about way (long way) but not all men care about us and how things ended.. some do move on and find someone else.. some move on and work on their M.. some move on and never look back and it is ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:51am

Hi Clarity,


i did not write the above statement but wished I had.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:57am

Yeah, you did write this statement.


from:


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 10:11am
So glad you're here Clarity (-:

LC/NC since April 14, 2010


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou




Edited 7/23/2010 10:13 am ET by transcendingus
LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:31am

Sorry I thought you meant:


How can you/we allow one human being...yes one JAM...to alter our entire perception about ourownselves and make us feel less than?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:36am

Also in my defense.. I still know that what he said were just words.. but I guess I am more hurt at the fact that I could have died and he really doesnt care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 4:15pm

jap,

You are expecting too much of him...WHY? He was having an affair? Not exactly on the up and up as far as morals go. Why do you expect someone to act and feel like you would react in a situation, any situation, but especially this A type situation. There are no rules, there are no procedures. Its take it and that's that.

I too expect people to act like I would. I expect people to be humane and have some consideration. Some people do not care. They just do not. And who cares? I know that may seem harsh, but I could cares less if my exAp ever cared about me living and/or dying. That's just so dramatic and I would ask similar questions to myself. I had serious health issues that concerned him and I still did not contact him. It was my problem, not his. I paid my dues. I know now that it does not matter if he cared or not. What matters is that I care for me and looked out for my best interests. Regardless of him.

You have been here a long time and its time you really start to focus on you and who cares if EVER cared. You may never know. What are you going to do? Always wonder? Doesn't sound like that will get you over this A...Come on, I have seen some powerful posts in you. You have it in you to move on and get your focus on point. We all do.

Luvin

Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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