I need a little encouragement

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
I need a little encouragement
5
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 6:21am
I woke up this morning, with a feeling in my stomach that I just don't like. I'm missing XMM pretty bad. It's been only 6 days since we last spoke and our affair FINALLY ended. (I had tried so many times before to get him to go, but he didn't or wouldn't). In the past,after a break up, by now we would be talking again.


This time maybe it is really over. I had a weak moment and dialed his cell phone, lucky for me the phone was off, but I got a sick feeling in my stomach hearing the message.

I know I don't need this in my life anymore. I'm married and after riding that wild roller coaster of emotion, made the decision that, this is where I needed to be.

Why am I doing this to myself? I just wish my heart would hurry and catch up with my head and I can really feel inside like I did the right thing by getting out.

I know I'll be okay. Now and in the long run. Thanks for listening! Have a good day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 8:32am
Read, re-read and then re-read again Sparklepuss's post Affairs are Addictive.

Iknowitstime

(and so do you)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 11:16am
Your down feelings are natural and expected. I liken this time as recovering from getting run over by a truck, except the damage is emotional/mental instead of physical. You do need a recovery period and that's what you are going through. It takes time. Take care of yourself during this time as you would during any major stress recovery period.

Hugs,

careful

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 11:46am
Please hang in there~!!!! I know how hard it is. It will probably take alot longer than 6 days before you feel better, for me it took about two very long, hard months. Eventually though you are going to move forward and take with you everything you have learned from this and apply it to your life. You are doing the right thing and soon it will actually feel good to have made such an important decision!! Good luck to you....get through the day to day and before you know it you will find the happiness you have been missing!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 5:45pm
it does take time -- getting hit by a truck was a good comparison. I'd say it took me 3 mos. to stop wondering about my MM, wanting to call & check in, that's all. Luckily I was in therapy because she said I was looking for the comfort MM gave me in the affair. But that I wouldn't just get the comfort I needed -- I coudn't take him out of the box & expect him to go back in.

I knew I didn't want an affair anymore or ever again so to protect myself, I made myself stay away -- no calls, emails, no drive-bys, no walk through his neighborhood, no going to restaurants we frequented, no "nothing." When he attempted to contact me, I completely rejected his overtures. He showed up at my house once late at night and I told him I'd call the police if ever did it again.

In time it got easier, honestly though he still sort of haunted my head until at least 6 mos. after NC began and it's only in the last few mos. that I feel nothing, zippo.

You'll get there -- just stay busy. So busy you barely have time to think until you lay your head on the pillow. by then, you're so exhausted you conk right out!

Good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 9:20pm
Thanks to all of you for the encouragement. I made thru yesterday and today too! Still NC. It's gonna be one day at a time but I'll make it. And I'll be better off in the long run, I just know it.

Take care and thanks again :)