I need strength...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2010
I need strength...
2
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 10:42am

It's been over a week since H gave me the ultimatum to stop chatting with other men or he walks...

It was easy to stop last week since I spent so much time and effort smoothing things out with DH and we had such a wonderful happy weekend together.

Now that it's Tuesday and he's off to work, my mind keeps wandering back to my Yahoo IM. I am quite certain that if I log in, there will be messages for me.

I know that the key is to JUST NOT LOG IN. Even delete my account.

It's been a habit for months...to carry my phone around with me...waiting for the next message...enjoying the "company" as I go about my day.

I need to re-learn how to live like a normal person again...and enjoy my true real life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 11:21am

TE2010,


How about rather than an ultimatum, you sit down and have an honest talk with your H and explain to him that you don't understand what your addiction to this unhealthy attention from other men is all about? Let him know how it makes you feel and that you recognize you need some help. You would probably benefit from a therapist who will help you find those answers. My experience tells me it usually stems from low self-esteem.


If you are honest with your husband and ask for his help in overcoming this problem, my guess is that your marriage is going to grow a lot stronger for the experience and honesty. Allowing yourself faults and to be vulnerable in front of your H

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 1:40pm
tiger, I do think alwayst2 is on to something. Focus on what is real. Can you even conceive the idea of losing your DH for a chat? Is it worth it? The addiction to the attention is most likely the culprit here. Think about who you are and get your validation from that. A wife, a mom (?), a daughter who loves and is loved. I finally realized my own self worth and who I really was. I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend. And to all those people in my life who depend on me and love me, I wanted to be who they thought I was, ya know. Realizing my own self value helped me kick the low self esteem issue. Not to mention how my self respect soared. I hope you find the strength to delete your online accounts and live for real, not online. peace