I need a swift kick this morning
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| Wed, 02-11-2004 - 10:16am |
I went to the local card shop with my daughter and we were browsing through the valentine cards, we pretty much stuck to the humor section. As I read some of them I started having tons of guilty feelings, at the same time I found myself missing XMM, but definitely not missing the A and all that went with it. I know I didn't love him, we didn't spend any Valentine days together, but there was something about reading those cards. I really think it was more the guilt I feel for the lying and sneaking that is really getting to me. H and I usually don't buy each other cards, thankfully, since there was no way I could pick one without feeling really bad about what it said.
I just needed to vent a little today. I know it will pass, it's just sort of snuck up on me when I really thought I was over it all.
Thanks for letting me think out loud.

No swift kick, however, how about an observation?
Your post mentioned that you and H didn't give each other Valentine's Day cards to each other in the past.
What about using this year as an opportunity to re-affrim your choice to continue your marriage and end your affair by giving your husband a Valentine's card? I'd suggest a humorous card since you're still feeling a bit guilty over your affair. A littel levity never hurt anyone and since the two of you have not given each other cards in recent years the change of pace may be just what you need to get moving past the affair.
I think you have an opportunity to choose to NOT feel badly and instead make some delicious lemonade from these lemons.........
jmhoo,
Thanks.
You're welcome.....
And I hope it starts you off on a recovery path that is successful.
HVD,
cl-nre