I need your help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
I need your help
3
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 10:49am

I am a MW and I have been having an affair with a MM. I left my husband several months ago just after the start of my affair. MM is still at home with his W and kids. I thought things were perfect with my MM up until my H started dating. I had a real big problem with that and since decided that I really miss him. Well, my H and I are now trying to work things out in two seperate households until be are both sure. In the mean time, I have done everything I can to break things off with my MM, but to no aveil. He recently gave me some money to help me out of a situation and I am repaying him for that. He now hangs that over my head of course. My question to all of you is how do I end this? We are coworkers and I am currently looking for a new job. This man could be classifed as a bit Pshyco. Can someone please help me?

Broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: broken28
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 1:15pm
You need to break off all ties with this man and I mean ALL. Find a different job, change your phone number, block his email etc. Do whatever it takes to tell him NO NO NO.. And do what you can to work with your husband to get your marriage back on track. See a counelor if you can. I think too many people get into this affairs, for the excitement and romance of the moment- and then sometimes it's too late when they realize the marriage they've lost. Don't let it be too late.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
In reply to: broken28
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 7:30pm

Broken

Borrow the money from someone to pay him back then go total no contact other then what work demands until you can get out of there.

IF your husband is aware of the affair and you are dealing with it together then look to him for help and escaping XMMs clutchs let him rescue you.

Remember the only thing you owe XMM is the money he loaned you and not one thing else, you have no other duty or obligations to him at all.

XMM has ZERO rights in your life and as for holding the money over you it would seem that unless his wife is aware of the affair he is the one in a weak position who cannot afford to be to pushy unless he wants to be exposed.

Good luck.

Free




Edited 5/2/2005 7:53 pm ET ET by mfreenow
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
In reply to: broken28
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 7:47pm

I agree with lealavendar - you must break all contact with this man. Get a new job, a new phone #, a new email address, etc. If he harrasses you, contact the authorities immediately.
In the meantime, spend your time and energy focusing on getting your marriage back on track with H.

I wish you all the best.

((hugs))
Circe